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Decoding the Note: Blegging for Help

As some readers may remember, Wonkette periodically offers a "Decoding the Note" service, wherein we unscramble the onanistic self-references of Washington's most insufferable political tipsheet so that civilians can also appreciate their insidery tediousness. Today, however, we admit that we're stumped:


* A SMART SUGARLAND MOVE BY BEGALA, per the Washington Post: "Adults With Wisdom Teeth Often Develop Gum Disease." (That one is an inside joke intelligible to precisely seven Note readers.) LINK
Wow, seven people, eh? Do the seven people on the masthead count? In any case, we defer to the hive mind of the Wonkette readership on this one, though we're completely willing to make up a backstory if the real one can't be found. Some conjectures so far:

Paul Begala is very smart (has "wisdom") and also has gum disease, thus proving he is an adult.

Paul Begala chews a lot of "gum" but doesn't have his wisdom teeth; he thinks adulthood is a disease.

Paul Begala is from Sugarland (has a "sweet tooth"?) and "flaps his gums" a lot but lacks his wisdom teeth, therefore he will not get a disease.

There is no inside joke, the entire point of the sentence to imply the people at the Note know more than you do.

The Note: Everything That Ought to Be Up Is Down [ABC]

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No pressure in November, but looks like the Supreme Court is going to do FUCK ALL about gerrymandering this term. In a unanimous decision authored by Chief Justice Roberts, the Court remanded the landmark Gill v. Whitford redistricting case on standing -- in other words, they won't be ruling on it because the plaintiffs challenging the gerrymander hadn't adequately proved that they personally had the right to challenge Wisconsin's preposterous districts.

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We have been hearing ever since late last week that Michael Cohen is probably about to be arrested and probably going to be indicted on one million charges and probably maybe might be about to try to flip and make a deal so that he doesn't end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. In fact, we have been hanging our hopes on it, because everything else sucks. Sure, we are still filled with joy over how Paul Manafort is on day four of JAIL, MOTHERFUCKER, JAIL, but then we remembered what is happening on the border and what we are saying right now is we need something happy.

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