Decoding the Note: Presidential Address Returned to Sender

For those of you who were impressed by the Note's "leaking" of today's Presidential address: There is no Presidential address. And here we always thought of pretend freelance speechwriting as Peggy Noonan's schtick. We admit we were almost taken in ourselves, especially at the top, where Bush sounded like Tracy Flick. By the time we got to the part about 10 billion dollars for carpools and mass transit, however. . . Of course, that bit was about 2000 words in. Should have tipped us off right there: Robert Byrd doesn't give speeches that long anymore. We assume most readers just stopped after the first paragraph as usual.

UPDATE: Alert, historically savvy correspondents, uhm, Note that the whole speech attributed to Bush in the Note today is a mildly tweaked version of Jimmy Carter's famed "malaise" speech, which played no small role in the effective marketing of Ronald Reagan as Mr. Morning in America. We apologize for our own inattention to the prank, but we were just eight at the time of the speech--and still drunk. Hey, you read the thing--the whole nation was bumming out! We were just doing our own small part. . .

The Note: "What Might Come Next" [ABC]


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