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Maybe it's just us, but our Dear ShitFerBrainers seemed a lot less intelligible this week. Hence the WHARRGARBL doggie. But what they lacked in sense, they made up for in passionate intensity. Consider this series of wordblurts from "Adolph Wolfenstein" (subtle username!), who did not care one bit for a December article about Trump Spokestroll Kellyanne Conway, but just got around to complaining about it now:


  • LOL@you sore loser snowflakes. Kellyanne is smart AND hot! My guy is Prez and America IS becoming great again now! Hope the sheets were cleaned once Hussein Obama's tribe left. God bless.
  • Trump is YOUR President irregardless of how much you moan and cry. Learn to accept it. Stay quiet. Stay home. Stay out of our way. MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.
  • God Bless Kellyane. She serves her country. As I did, back in Nam. More than you sore liberal losers can say.
  • To the lib below defending minorities: Defend all you wish. I will never have to accept niggerz&spics living in my country. My guy won. Get over it.
  • Most men I know can't contain their lust for Kellyanne. Im included. Thank God my maid is now TERRIFIED of the police, lol - and thank God she's so damned FLEXIBLE!! ;-)

Why, yes, yes. We completely believe this idiot served during Vietnam. And that Kellyanne Conway is a genius, too, irregardless of how much she lies. We do have to say it's impressive how flocking together on Twitter and 4chan has taught all these dorks to sound pretty much the same, like a roomful of Milo Yiannopoulos clones. Also, the casual racism -- and casual rape! -- are so very hilarious.

Similarly coherent thoughts from "John" in reply to our piece on self-appointed Manners enforcer Tomi Lahren, who was shocked, shocked at all the SNOWFLAKES protesting the day after Donald Trump was inaugurated, even though he was duly elected by millions of hard-working Americans. "John" had some thoughts about how to make our nation a more perfect union, or something:

  • The police just need to start shooting these disruptive protesters with rubber bullets, whack them on the head with nightsticks and spray tear gas into their mouths. See how much they like protesting then.
  • Shut your filthy liberal cuck mouth and GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY!
    • Is this not how a representative democracy works? We hold an election, and then the losers must shut up and be silent forever, because they lost. Ideally, they should be silenced by the police, because the winners won and that settles everything. It's right there in the Constitution, isn't it?

      Our story about televangelist Rick Wiles and his discovery of the real reason Mike Flynn resigned as national security advisor (devil-worshiping, Luciferian, demon-possessed maniacs brought him down because he'd dared to speak the TRUTH about Pizzagate) brought this brief observation from "ross," who knows what's really going on:

      Pizzagate is real, I really hope it blows up soon.

      Our political systems need replaced.

      "Ross" was disappointingly vague about why Pizzagate is real, or how exactly it would bring a fundamental change to our political system when it blows up. A quick glance at his comment history makes a few things clear, though: People only protest against Trump because they're paid to, there's no hope for fools who believe the "Russia bit," and if you only did a bit of research, you'd know the Clinton hit list is real. He's really disappointed at how brainwashed everyone else on the internet is. It's a sad commentary on how our nation is failing.

      Our piece on Donald Trump's historically low poll numbers for a new president brought out a couple of folks who agreed that Trump's popularity is actually through the roof, as proven by a single Rasmussen poll that found him with a whopping 55% approval rating. One of them, "hippobottom1023," had a good laugh at us stupid liberals before deciding that actually all polls are meaningless, but Trump is still awesome. Then he dropped polling altogether and proved that liberals are intellectually bankrupt because he spotted a punctuation error:

      • What a bunch of BS. Rassmussen poll just released today, shows Trumps approval rating at 55%... double digits higher than BO in the last several years.
      • You know, you have a point. All polls failed during the election. Based on your point, this whole article is fake. And that I agree with.
      • Hahaha. You're the dumbass who believed the Rassmussen poll along with every other poll that predicted a Hilary win. That makes you not only the real dumbass, but a LOSER. LoL!!!!!
      • My gosh you're stupid. Hey Mr. Educated, you need a question mark after "system."
      • Once again, you're too stupid to know there's a question mark after your sentence. Man you're stupid.
      • Like I said, you're stupid. And now you're proving it. LoL. Go get your G.E.D.

      Silly fool doesn't even know it's LOL, not LoL!!!! Guess that means he's the real stupidhead! In any case, polling is dumb, but Donald Trump is really much more popular than the polls suggest, because you stupid liberals all need to get your GEDs, LoL! (As to the actual problems with polling in 2016, here's a pretty good piece by a lamestream media source, so don't read it, it's full of lies.)

      Finally, we got a whole lot of angry comments from the "what part of 'illegal' don't you understand?" crowd, in reply to our Friday piece on a draft proposal to mobilize the National Guard as part of a deportation force, because that's the kind of country we are now. Or aren't quite yet, since it looks like the memo was a trial balloon, or at least something less than a fully worked out plan. Not that our correspondents would have minded -- they're probably deeply disappointed the military won't be busting down doors just yet. "Debbie O." doesn't even like having to know that people who think like us are even allowed to live in her country:

      Fuck you.go move to Canada. What a bunch of pure tripe. This is exactly what is wrong with this country, people like you. Well go on, and be haters and see where that carries you in life

      "Danny R." also wants us to know that this is a constitutional republic, Donald Trump won, and therefore those who don't like the election outcome all need to leave. (We aren't entirely sure these guys really understand how republics work, frankly):

      President Trump will make America great for all you racist anti-American rhinos and liberals and sore losers also! And all you Ameraphobes that do not like our laws and constitution can go with them or learn that we are a Republic that elects our leaders by a constitutional way legally called the electoral vote and I and every other American live under laws so if you break the law boo hoo. Bad parents drag their children into something they knew was against the law when they did it not even getting into the millions they cost us! Go President Trump! Fifty five percent of America agrees with you and has youre back! And when the illegals are gone it will be more like seventy five percent!

      Also notable: Danny R. thinks the Rasmussen poll interviews a heck of a lot of undocumented immigrants, which seems unlikely, since it usually leans Republican.

      We also heard from "tgtrotter," who knows why we really have so many undocumented immigrants: It's all the liberals out there who hire them! We had never really thought of the agribusinesss and construction industries and Trump Tower as a particularly liberal bunch, honestly. But then tgtrotter decided our post about people fleeing the USA for Canada was fake news, because Canada has kick-ass border enforcement, and maybe the real problem is everybody, or something:

      • I don't understand the left. They claim to be loving caring people by ignoring immigration laws and giving jobs to " poor honest down trodden" people . The problem is they pay the shot wage. They are only looking for cheap labor in the guise of " I am a loving charitable person. In the meantime those who have immigrated legally, those who citizens can't get a decent paying job. These lover of humanity crapped on their own class while crapping on another. All in the name of money. Cheap labor. Cheap employees. Cheap fast for. Cheap products.. Donald Trump has a heart. A heart for those who following both sees of the law. Quit hiring cheap labor to now your lawn, blow your leaves be a nanny and housekeeper, assemble your products..etc Support your neighbor. Don't be cheap
      • What you got in Canada is a kick ass border enforcement and support and unity from Canadians. Canada is extremely hard and lengthy to come in legally nonetheless deliver a load into Canada. Here in California it is illegal to hire without an I-9. But phony ID is cheap and easy to come by. ( Go to MacArthur Park in downtown L.A. and it can be had for $20.00 USD). And there is little enforcement of illegal hiring. EXACTLY MY POINT! I retract the leftist remark. Everyone has been guilty. My daughters bosses landscape company. A neighbors import assembly plant my wife and kids worked at. And just last week at a job on the Westside the housekeeper telling my crew she is illegal and the homeowners are very nice. They pay her $300.00 a month !! And she is happier than shit.!! I've been working 39 years and can point to hundreds of encounters with exploited workers diminishing fair wages for all. . Myself and millions of American workers see the hate and ignorance anti Trumpsters possess but try to put the spin on as if they don't. It's gonna be ok
      • What you got in Canada is a kick ass border enforcement. Do not quote me your Trump article as fact.
        • Why are liberals so obsessed with the profit motive and exploiting people in their factories and agricultural operations? It truly is a mystery. But if you want proof, just go down to MacArthur Park in downtown L.A. and see Freedom melting in the rain, all the sweet red, white, and blue icing flowing down.

          "Marg Murr" had some classic all-caps thoughts on the proposal:

          GOOD!! ROUND THEM UP AND GET THEM OUT. I NEED A JOB. MAYBE NOW I CAN FINALLY FIND ONE. GET THEM OUT AND KEEP THEM OUT. AMERICAN CITIZENS SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST IN EVERYTHING!!! GET THEM OUT!!!!!!!!!

          And finally, some thoughts from "Monkey Sea," who knows that Donald Trump is actually loved by everyone and has huge approval ratings, plus other things. It's quite a lot of WHARRGARBL, and yes, this is all a single comment:

          Who says his approval ratings are in the toilet??????? You?

          You are just another butt hurt liberal who resorts to name calling. I am also willing to figure out any math problem that you have. I assure you I am quite good at math and I am "legal". Sooooooooooo, what does that make you?

          FYI..........Trump won.

          Bwahahahahahahaha!

          Not a damn thing you can do about it.

          Love the way he says not living near the border. Even if this was "real news" who cares where they are living if they are illegal. eff them. and as for this author..............what a nut job. The stories are not only fake but they are getting to be over the top hilarious. But I still keep my fingers crossed that he would use the military to remove the cockroaches from the U.S.

          "Monkey Sea" also has a heck of a colorful comment history, including this gem from a sports blog in reply to a story about an ESPN commentator who used the term "gorilla" while talking about Venus Williams:

          That's because baboon genes supersede human genes. She looks and acts like an ape. Groans and grunts like an ape and calling people racist has no effect on anyone anymore. All you dumb blacks don't realize that if you use a word that much when it shouldn't be used it becomes useless and ineffective. Who cares if you call white people racist...........it's all used up just like the race card.

          He seems nice. He doesn't do "empathy" either -- in reply to a story about human traffickers preying on Central American women trying to reach the U.S., "Sea Monkey" somehow decided that the sex traffickers -- who aren't in the U.S. -- are precisely why we need to deport all the subhuman Latinos, especially their victims who've made it here:

          And liberals wonder why we don't want these cockroaches in our country. This is a prime example of what they deem "normal". They will never be evolved humans. They will always be sub humans looking to leech off of the American people. Deport every last one of them.

          We'd suggest that if anyone is noticeably lacking in human characteristics here, it's "Monkey Sea," but we probably shouldn't say anything, because after all, TRUMP WON, Bwahahahahahahaha!

          Wonkette is ad-free and supported by Readers Like "Monkey Sea." Oh my god, we are just kidding, can you imagine? No, we are supported by readers like YOU.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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