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One of the fun things about curating the comment queue is that we occasionally get brand-new comments on posts that are weeks or months old -- such is the nature of the interwebs and search engines. And so today, we are delighted to bring you a Dear Shitferbrains comprising recent outrage over stuff that was originally written some time back. There's no expiration date on stupid!


Our first comment only goes back a couple months, to our March 12 article debunking an email myth about Pope Francis supposedly being indicted for child trafficking. (Turns out the "International Tribunal into Crimes of Church and State" is one guy with a blog, who regularly "indicts" the Pope and Queen Elizabeth for various crimes, and who also "dissolved" the nation of Canada a few years back.) But "nickneachtain" wants us to know that we should not be dupes, and just because the "international tribunal," is one guy's delusion, that's no reason to dismiss his important findings:

Poor Doktor Zoom ..such a well conditioned mind. the urgency of this issue is not to throw the baby out with the bath water. shoot the messenger if he's a flawed person, but do not shoot the message! the catholic church and church of england is a far deeper root of evil to trace back than one guys individual ego. be warned

Indeed! Just because someone's a bit twitchy and spouts nonsense, there's no reason to dismiss the blueprints for their perpetual motion machine. You never know.

"FDrepublican" did not care one bit for a year-old post about a group calling itself "Frederick Douglass Republicans" -- it's a rightwing group that aims at helping make the Tea Party more popular with blacks by pointing out that the KKK was founded by Democrats, and that not a single Democrat in Congress voted for the 15th Amendment, which gave blacks the vote. FDrepublican just had to let us know that we were wrong, wrong, wrong about Frederick Douglass and modern political parties:

It might be an interesting and unique experience if the sheeple who posted most of these comments would actually research the people and group they're commenting on. Not to mention, actually read some of Mr. Douglass' writings. You'd know that they know that the Republican Party on 2014 (or since the 90's) IS NOT representative of true conservatism OR the original Republican values. They (the FD Republicans) are working to reform BOTH parties into what they ought to be. Neither party would get the support of Mr. Douglass. I base this on reading his writings. He advocated ideals that are not represented by either of the parties today. You would all benefit from a little more research (if actual work and effort are not too much to ask of you) before exposing your ignorance in public forums. And yes, I know that I'll be castigated for expressing this. And, no, I don't care that you will decry my comments because you cannot argue against the truth.

Wow! That's a real eye-opener! The Republicans are different from their 19th-Century incarnation, and they need to be REAL conservatives, whatever that is. That would undoubtedly explain why the Frederick Douglass Republicans website's "Did You Know?" page is dedicated to cataloguing the racism of pre-civil-rights-era Southern Democrats. Also, abortion is like slavery. Gosh, if only we would do our research, we would definitely stop advocating positions we don't actually advocate. Still, it would be nice if more people read Douglass -- and if the website claiming him for the Tea Party would quote more than a few paragraphs of Douglass to "prove" he would have agreed with them. (For what it's worth, the Frederick Douglass Republican blog hasn't been updated since December 2013.)

We also heard from "buddhaflow," who was not one bit pleased that in November 2012 we quoted another blog's definition of "The Manosphere." You see, it is totally unfair to suggest that various flavors of whacko antifeminist misogyny have anything to do with each other, and this error demands a correction:

"The Manosphere: The loose collection of blogs, message boards, and other sites run by and/or read by MRAs ["Men's Rights Advocates"], MGTOW ["Men Going Their Own Way: a lot like lesbian separatism, but for straight dudes.", and assorted friendly Pick-up Artists. " No, you can't group these factions together. They literally have nothing, nothing, nothing to do with each other, other than catering to men. It's like throwing in Feminist activism, make-up tips, and 'mommy blogs' into one category called the 'Femosphere'. It's ridiculous and makes you look incompetent. MRAs: Concerned with institutional discrimination men face in, for instance, education, the justice system, the family court systems, as well as negative portrayals in media etc. Also critiquing feminist theory. RedPills: Concerned with writing a new theory of gender and intersex relationships. Pick Up Artists: Concerned with getting laid. There is some overlap between #2 and #3, and a tiny bit between #1 and #2. But not much, about as much as their is between Feminism and beauty tips. Starting from the base assumption that a certain group consists of assholes, and basing your entire knowledge of them from a website dedicated to trashing them, is shameful. It represents the very worst tendencies of Internet era journalism.

We especially like buddhaflow's positive re-definitions of two of those fine strands of antifeminist bullshit. MRA's are fighting for freedom; "RedPill" misogynists -- the folks who will no longer be blinded by feminist lies and women's sexist double standards -- are courageously building a whole new theory of sexuality where they don't need to bother thinking about dumb women; and neither of those fine factions should be associated with Pickup Artists, who also dehumanize women, but are only doing it for selfish ends, so please do not associate those jerks with the enlightened jerks in the first two categories. You're right, buddhaflow. They are three very different types of assholes, each with a rich heritage of assholery all its own. Wonkette regrets the error.

"BethesdaDog" had some insights into the femininity of our First Lady, and agreed with our post from March about the rightwing loons who insist that Michelle Obama is totally a dude. But wait, you may ask, if BethesdaDog agrees that Michelle is a lady person, why not approve the comment and welcome him to the commentariate? First off, Wonkette does not allow comments, duh, and secondly of all, there's his actual comment, which is full of SCIENCE:

This is so ridiculous. At worst, Michelle Obama probably has somewhat higher testosterone levels (all women have some testosterone) than many women. This could explain her somewhat man-like appearance. I have no doubt she's a full-fludged woman. Now that woman who started this blog, Mary Cox, with her full-fledged breasts, was certainly all woman. She could turn Rahm Emanuel into a rabid horn-dog, I'm sure.

Sorry, BethesdaDog, we have no idea who this "Mary Cox" is; she's not around here anymore, anyway. And while we appreciate your obsession with boobies, we're just not sure you're ready to be a full-fludged Wonker.

And since we're looking in the rearview mirror, let's clear out a couple of comments that actually did arrive shortly after the pieces they replied to, but that we haven't had a chance to include in previous Dear Shitferbrainses, because really, there's no Sell-By date on derp. Our mid-April post on Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin's approval of a bill barring Oklahoma cities from increasing the minimum wage was not appreciated by "darkrob2009," who explained some Basic Economics to us:

When are you all going to get it minimum wage is a ruse. It doesn't matter how much you raise the minimum wage, all the businesses will raise prices to offset the cost and inflation will rise. Therefore you will be making more money but you will have a higher cost of living so you'll be right back in the same place you started. If you want to effect change work on lowering the cost of living. Finite vs. infinite people simple concept. Numbers like minimum wage and cost of living can go as high as they want but can only drop so low. Liberals like to pride themselves on using logic so start actually using it.

This is simple logic! Instead of adjusting the minimum wage, which would be bad for business and cause inflation, simply make the cost of living go down. Oddly, darkrob2009 (which happens to be the last time the minimum wage went up) doesn't explain how exactly that's supposed to happen -- maybe through corporate tax cuts.

We also heard from "canoeist301" about the State of Tennessee's expression of "regret" (but not apology) for slavery, because why even talk about such old stuff?

I think its ridiculous that an apology is needed for something that was ended over 140 years ago. Tennessee was among the first southern states that allowed freed men to possess businesses and property and serve in the house of representatives. WOW! All of you haters really NEED TO GET A LIFE!

You know, as the song says,"we all did what we could do." So shut up already, and stop hatin' on the slaveowners, you haters. And if you don't like free speach, just change the channel.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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