Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why U So Gay-Murdery, Wonkette Nazi Hoors?
Sometimes we wonder about some of you people. OK, not YOU, loyal Wonkaloos, but you, over there, the one who just got here and decided that you really need to set us straight aboutle justice social and los correctnesses politicale. In response to a throwaway line in Wonkette's story yesterday about that billboard with the Hitler Quote that Never Was, we received this very, very upset message from "Sephia825":
"And then they shoved his head in a toilet and drowned him to death for being such a FAG." Really?! What is so wrong with being a gay / fag? Are we suggesting that if one is a true "fag" they deserve this kind of treatment?
Dear Sephia825: This was an example of the comic use of "hyperbole," or in the common parlance, a pun*. Yr Wonkette would never subject a gay / fag (or nerd Jew) to a lethal swirly. We only prescribe that punishment for concern trolls. Also, what kind of cut-rate commenter takes their username from a Kia automobile? That is just too faggy for words.
That same story also prompted the return to our slushpile of an Old Wonkette Frenemy, The Mad Jewess, who is quite definitely both of those things. She did not care for the story ONE LITTLE BIT! And she also wants Yr Editrix to feel very bad for that bad post:
NO Jew should EVER be for any type of gun control. As usual, you look like a jackass., ReBimbo
This is the strange world in which we live: Somehow, correcting a fake Hitler quote is Bad For The Jews. The Mad Jewess has been sending us other comments, too, mostly variations on the "Rebecca is a Bolshevik hoor" theme.
At least shes GOT a husband, Re-Bimbo. NO man would go with you...so just stick to your blow up dolls, dildos & masturbating to the faggot-tyrant in the WH--SO TYPICAL for Bolshevik Jews to embrace assholes that hate our people. By the way, sister....Bok Bok Bok....!!!!!!!!1!1
She is calling us "chicken" because we are afraid of her! We should at least make one correction, though: Rebecca does NOT "masturbate to the faggot-tyrant in the WH." That honor is reserved for Old Handsome Joe Biden, you big silly. Also, how do ladies even fuck blow-up dolls? Also also, too, you need to come up with better insult nicknames, or we will start calling you The Bad Drooless, haw haw.
And finally, a word about our spam filter. We just want to thank whatever random word generator produced this line of text:
http://www.[spam URL redacted] ambien walrus kill your parents - ambien withdrawal benadryl
Today, let us all join together and say, "Ambien walrus kill your parents." This is something we can all believe in.
*The joke is that it is not a pun.**
**Rather, it is ironic appropriation, as we imagine the kind of idiots*** who would pay to hire the billboard in question would assume anyone pointing out their idiocy was a nerd/Jew/homosexual.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.