Hey, would you believe that we're still getting letters from angry sons, daughters, and bastard wannabe grandchildren of the Confederacy about our piece on a proposal to move Nathan Bedford Forrest's bones out of a city park and to a private cemetery? Of course you would, because nothing inspires everlasting butthurt like a Lost Cause.

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"Robert Keith Hayhurst" -- probably a made-up name for "Bob Smith" -- got right to the point:

yea lets dig up roberrt byrd next

Boom, Wonket, YA BURNT! Because as we noted last week, the two had nearly identical careers, what with Robert Byrd leading (or depending upon your source, conveniently looking away from) the massacre of over 300 black Union soldiers at Fort Pillow -- after the fort had surrendered -- and then becoming the first national leader of the KKK ... oh, wait, that was Forrest. Byrd, while definitely a member of the modern KKK in the 50s, didn't massacre anyone: he did recruit new members and led meetings, but Byrd "denied that his members ever discussed violence or even so much as held a parade, and there is no evidence to contradict his claims." Obviously, just belonging to the KKK was vile enough, and Byrd spent the rest of his life atoning for it, but there might be just a shade of difference between the two guys.

"Kris" took issue with all the Bad Words in the piece:

Wow, how can anyone take this article seriously with the amount of cussing in it? I have always thought that those who cuss just aren't intelligent enough to get their point across...guess I can say point proven.

Excellent point, and one we'll try to bear in mind: when it comes right down to it, one should always strive to be tasteful when discussing slavery, the Civil War, and the KKK, lest one ruffle a reader's delicate sensibilities. For poor Kris, we offer a Fainting Couch:

"AJ Price" warned us of the inevitable slippery slope, because if anyone removes a monument to a war criminal and racist, who knows what further terrors may follow?

Let's just keep rewriting history and remove anything that the current regime and political winds find offensive. Let's just not act surprise when winds change and so many other things you don't find offensive but someone else does starts disappearing... like books, statues of Lincoln, the American Flag, free speech, the right to have an attorney, etc.

First they came for the memorials to racist prisoner-murdering Confederate generals, and because there was no more Confederacy and I thought massacres of POWs were bad, I said, "Oh, dear, it's the end of Freedom."

"Nicholas Kosygin," whose avatar is this charming rainbowified image of Big Brother (get it? GET IT?), just wanted to point out that taking down any monument ever is exactly like Our Terrorist Enemies and their destruction of thousand-year-old cultural artifacts:

Nice to see the left embracing the tactics of ISIS and the Taliban.

Indeed. Because a representative government body voting to remove officially-sanctioned celebrations of racist heroes is precisely the same as invaders blowing up UNESCO World Heritage sites. We think maybe, given his choice of avatar, Ol' Nick is not exactly big on understanding subtlety.

Along similar lines, we heard from "Highervalue," who noted that the real racists are people like Memphis journalist Wendi Thomas, who told us that when she'd written about the removal of a different N.B. Forrest monument, she received several emails from a guy who called her "a nigger bitch" and later offered to rape her, to preserve the honor of Gen. Forrest, apparently. "Highervalue" doubts all such attributions of racism to fans of the KKK leader, and noted how history is repeating itself again:

You have to love the fake stories of angry white males making threats. So many of these racial hoaxes prevailing by black themselves. They love to fuel the hate fire.

All oppressive governments always use the same methods throughout time to justify genocide. You make your opponet out to be an evil white racist. That way, it's ok when you kill him.

How true this is! Remember how the Ottoman Turks fabricated stories of the Armenians being evil white racists as a pretext to kill them? And also how Hitler decried the Jews as evil white racists before his program of genocide? And of course how Pol Pot accused intellectuals and city dwelling Cambodians as evil white racists as a prelude to the Killing Fields? Not to mention how Hutu extremists in Rwanda accused their Tutsi countrymen of being evil white racists before hacking them to death with machetes and locking them inside churches, which they then burned to the ground? The pattern is eerily familiar, as we have seen it play out again right now in America, with a few flags and statues being removed.

Then there was this Masterpiece of Stupid from "scotth340," who was so consarned ticked off at all our bigotry and lying that he went FULL CAPSLOCK and randomly-capitalized Nouns on us, since that really makes the point:

How PATHETIC you people are that you are such Professionally Offended Whiney Ass Liberals who want to desecrate the Grave of a man thats been dead 138 years! You people are disgusting & I hope you all Rot in Hell for desecrating a Grave all because your poor little liberal selves are upset boo-hoo! You people need to get over your damn selves...this isnt about you even as much as yall want it to be! MY HOPE IS ALL YOUR ASSES WHEN YOUR DEAD & GONE...I HOPE SOMEBODY DESECRATES YALLS SHITTY GRAVES!

PS Journalist Wendi Thomas who is quoted in this "article" claiming she had "emails" sent to hear threatening her and calling her a "nigger". LET'S SEE THE PROOF OF THOSE EMAILS WENDI...B/C I & MANY OTHERS NOT ONLY THINK BUT KNOW YOUR ARE A RACE BAITING PIMP & A COMPULSIVE LIAR!!!!!

Spoken like a man who has never had a racist thought in his life, we'd say.

And one last bit of Bedford Forrest Derp, from "Linda Woodcock." We suspected it might be a Poe until we checked her comment history, which suggests that she's either completely serious or a deep-cover performance artist:

The Democrats have sold their souls to Satan! Anyone that agrees with Obamamama will not enter the pearly gates!!!

We didn't realize that Jesus was such a fan of the Confederacy and its generals. We learn so much from this job.

We had so many deleted comments on other topics this week that we'll serve up another helping for you before next Sunday; as an amuse-cerveau, here's a sample from "jamieson Hall," who didn't see any problems with Texas counties refusing to issue birth certificates for babies born in the USA if the mothers couldn't prove they were in the country legally:

Texas can do what ever it likes because it isn't broke like the Federal government is. If you don't like it go back to Central American or Mexico.

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Now there's somebody who understands how the 14th Amendment works. We'd be willing to bet he also likes to gripe about how that monster Obama is constantly ignoring the Constitution. Impressed by this feat of logic, we decided to ban jamieson Hall, because we like science fiction, while he didn't capitalize both his first and last names. If he doesn't like it he can go back to Breitbart or the Daily Caller.


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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