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My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Take Away Our Guns


Funny how the Deleted Comments biz goes. A couple weeks back, we had so few real winners that we had to forego the feature altogether; this week, we'll have to select carefully from a veritable smorgasbord of Derp. So let's get right to it, with a sampling of thoughts from Real Ohio Voter "Macke777," who took issue with our suggestion last week that Rob Portman's Senate seat might be taken by a (*gasp!*) Democrat:

Portman is going to easily win re-election over Strickland. We Ohioans hate Strickland's rotten guts. We don't forget the bad politicians. Kasich has very high approval numbers and that support carries over to the other Repub candidates. You can call this election close if you want, but you'll be disappointed in November, even with that jackass Trump as the national candidate. Most people in Ohio want the government to stay out of our lives as much as humanly possible, and that rules out the big government Dems.

By "most people in Ohio," of course, he means himself and everyone he talks to, which is how political polling works, after all. And like so many Republicans, Macke777 used to be a fool who was blinded by liberal propaganda, at least until he grew up and started thinking for himself!

You are lost after years of listening to the Democratic propaganda in school and in the media. I've been there too. I used to believe the propaganda. I'd say about 75% of college age kids are Democrats in just about every generation. By the time those kids turn into adults and have less exposure to the propaganda and more exposure to taxation, over half are Republicans. Our political system is rigged, favoring Democrats in just about every way. Republicans still win just as many elections because people prefer freedom to government overlords. I'm using my freedom right now. There is no "safe space" on the Internet. Buck up, my friend.

We liked the part about how our government is rigged to favor Democrats in every possible way that we linked to this fine New Yorker article about gerrymandering. Funny, he didn't reply to that. Some smartass had to go and trot out Stephen Colbert's observation that "reality has a liberal bias," and of course, Macke777 took the bait:

No. Reality is 50% of the people rejecting the fantasy forced fed to them by authority figures in schools and in the media. Republicans don't need 90% of the media and 98% of teachers promoting their message to win elections. Republicans win half of the elections with 10% of the media because they have a better message

Don't you all cherish those warm memories of your elementary school teachers constantly telling you to vote for Democrats? We sure do! We think they may have snuck it in somewhere between the mandatory Pledge of Allegiance and the lessons about Great Achievements of White Americans. Still, Macke777 was nothing if not persistent in his insistence that we've all been propagandized into robotically mouthing politically correct ideas again and again:

Every network other than Fox has a progressive bias. Just about every TV show or movie carries a progressive bias. Just about every teacher and professor promotes the progressive ideology in their classrooms. Even with all of that,your party loses as often as they win. What does that tell you? Your message sucks. Your party has to force feed its message down people's throats and half of them still spit it right back in the Dems' faces. How do you like those apples?

If nothing else, we were impressed that Macke777 and a tiny minority (or half the population) have managed to escape the cultural brainwashing machine that is American culture. He's pretty brave! We also learned where he gets his information: from the one bias-free source in the media, ever: Fox News:

That's not propaganda. Dems have MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, CNBC, CNN, Bloomberg, Fushion, HBO, PBS, etc. and Republicans have Fox News and OAN. The entertainment industry is just as slanted favoring Dems, maybe even more than News. The education system promotes Democrat ideology across all levels, getting more overt as the student progresses with universities the most overtly progressive. Most college age kids (18-25) vote for Democrats; most adults (25 and up) vote Republicans. That's why the country is split 50-50 in most cases. If one party has control and screws up (Bush), the other party will swing some of the centrist votes to their side. However, that party is just as likely to lose those votes if they screw up as well (Obama). If you don't like the common sense I'm posting, fight to have a more fair system. It would be great if political ideology was kept out of the news, media, and education system.

Basically, only young people and brainwashed fools are progressives, because they have been brainwashed and cannot think for themselves. Happily, about half of Americans nonetheless shake off their programming and become Republicans. Obviously, if only we had true balance, everyone would be a conservative. We didn't actually ban Macke777, because his ideas intrigue us; maybe he has a newsletter.

Our story about a not terribly articulate Alabama toilet law (2015 was the Year of Gay Marriage; 2016 is the Year Of Toilet Laws) drew the ire of a very, very upset person with the username "dr3yec," who was upset by the headline, "Inbred Alabama Hicks Can’t Even Spell Why They Hate Transgenders So Much":

Racists much?????? I find you title to be offensive and disgusting.

Wonkette regrets the stereotype. If only the city council of Oxford, Alabama, hadn't done so much to reinforce it. The story also drew some ridicule from longtime Wonkette frenemy "daysleeper," who wondered why we bothered writing it at all:

An entire article to shit on them for a typo? LOL #reaching

You know, had it been a typo, that would have been reaching. On the other hand, when the ordinance was shot through with correctly-spelled wrong words (restrooms, the city said, should be places of "quite solicitude" but have become, thanks to mean LGBT folk, places of "increased venerability"), then yeah, we had something to mock. Plus the law being incredibly stupid in the first place. Then again, "daysleeper" is given to worries about What Goes On at Wonkette, having last week complimented us as "a decent source of info in spite of the puerile delivery," and sharing some first-class concern-trolling on the occasion of Yr Editrix's first wedding anniversary:

IDK, you sound like a mess. You moved in with someone after only a few weeks? married him less than 3 months after meeting him? Were irresponsible about birth control when you knew he didn't want kids? I wish you the best of luck, and I mean that-- not being facetious-- but damn.

And yet we keep daysleeper around, because... um... we're almost certain we have an excellent reason. (Yr Dok Zoom had almost forgotten that comment, but when we posted the "typo" complaint in the Sekrit Chatcave, Yr Editrix recognized the name immediately. For some reason.)

Our story on that exciting new-ish NRA ad explaining how Hollywood Liberals, Political Elites, and Billionaires want to take away ALL your guns drew an epic list of dubious quotes from "ArmedPatriot," all aimed at disproving the filthy lie that nobody's out to ban all guns. OH YEAH? Asks "ArmedPatriot"? Then what about this indispuitable evidence to the contrary?

Yes, they ARE out to get your guns.

The next time some Brady nut tells you that no one wants to take your guns away, send them here...

"My view of guns is simple. I hate guns and I cannot imagine why anyone would want to own one. If I had my way, guns for sport would be registered, and all other guns would be banned."

Deborah Prothrow-Stith (Dean of Harvard School of Public Health)

"I don't care if you want to hunt, I don't care if you think it's your right. I say 'Sorry.' it's 1999. We have had enough as a nation. You are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun I think you should go to prison."

Rosie O'Donnell (At about the time she said this, Rosie engaged the services of a bodyguard who had a gun permit.)

"I do not believe in people owning guns. Guns should be owned only by [the] police and military. I am going to do everything I can to disarm this state."

Michael Dukakis

"If someone is so fearful that they are going to start using their weapons to protect their rights, it makes me very nervous that these people have weapons at all."

U.S. Rep. Henry Waxman

"In fact, the assault weapons ban will have no significant effect either on the crime rate or on personal security. Nonetheless, it is a good idea ... Passing a law like the assault weapons ban is a symbolic - purely symbolic - move in that direction. Its only real justification is not to reduce crime but to desensitize the public to the regulation of weapons in preparation for their ultimate confiscation."

Charles Krauthammer, columnist, 4/5/96 Washington Post

"Ban the damn things. Ban them all. You want protection? Get a dog."

Molly Ivins, columnist, 7/19/94

"[To get a] permit to own a firearm, that person should undergo an exhaustive criminal background check. In addition, an applicant should give up his right to privacy and submit his medical records for review to see if the person has ever had a problem with alcohol, drugs or mental illness . . . The Constitution doesn't count!"

John Silber, former chancellor of Boston University and candidate for Governor of Massachusetts. Speech before the Quequechan Club of Fall River, MA. August 16, 1990

"Handguns should be outlawed. Our organization will probably take this stand in time but we are not anxious to rouse the opposition before we get the other legislation passed."

Elliot Corbett, Secretary, National Council For A Responsible Firearms Policy (interview appeared in the Washington Evening Star on September 19, 1969)

"Banning guns addresses a fundamental right of all Americans to feel safe."

Senator Diane Feinstein, 1993

"If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an outright ban, picking up every one of them... 'Mr. and Mrs. America, turn 'em all in, I would have done it. I could not do that. The votes weren't here."

U.S. Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA) CBS-TV's "60 Minutes," 2/5/95

"Banning guns is an idea whose time has come."

U.S. Senator Joseph Biden, 11/18/93, Associated Press interview

"Yes, I'm for an outright ban (on handguns)."

Pete Shields, Chairman emeritus, Handgun Control, Inc., during a 60 Minutes interview.

"I am one who believes that as a first step, the United States should move expeditiously to disarm the civilian population, other than police and security officers, of all handguns, pistols, and revolvers... No one should have the right to anonymous ownership or use of a gun."

Professor Dean Morris, Director of Law Enforcement Assistance Administration, stated to the U.S. Congress

"Waiting periods are only a step. Registration is only a step. The prohibition of private firearms is the goal." -U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno, December 1993

"I feel very strongly about it [the Brady Bill]. I think -- I also associate myself with the other remarks of the Attorney General. I think it's the beginning. It's not the end of the process by any means."

William J. Clinton, 8/11/93

"The Brady Bill is the minimum step Congress should take...we need much stricter gun control, and eventually should bar the ownership of handguns, except in a few cases."

U.S. Representative William Clay, quoted in the St. Louis Post Dispatch on May 6, 1991.

"I don't believe gun owners have rights."

Sarah Brady, Hearst Newspapers Special Report "Handguns in America", October 1997

"We must get rid of all the guns."

Sarah Brady, speaking on behalf of HCI with Sheriff Jay Printz & others on "The Phil Donahue Show" September 1994

"The House passage of our bill is a victory for this country! Common sense wins out. I'm just so thrilled and excited. The sale of guns must stop. Halfway measures are not enough."

Sarah Brady 7/1/88

"I don't care about crime, I just want to get the guns."

Senator Howard Metzenbaum, 1994

And several thousand words more, many of them repeated. We didn't have the time to fact-check most of them, although there were several which seem to appear only on similar lists of anti-gun "quotes," not so much in actual news articles from the time they were supposedly said.

At least one is certifiably fake: Supposedly, Janet Reno said on Good Morning America on December 10, 1993, "Waiting periods are only a step. Registration is only a step. The prohibition of private firearms is the goal." Except she didn't. She wasn't even on the show that day. In fact, in a press conference the day before, in comments on the Long Island Railroad shooting, Reno said that registration would do little to reduce gun violence -- she was, however, in favor of mandatory safety training. And, yes, an assault-weapons ban. The other quotes, who knows? They're repeated, without context, on a lot of pro-gun sites, but then so are a lot of fake quotes from the Founders; if any of you folks in the comments (which we don't allow) want to do some crowd-sourced fact checking, we'd love to see it. You can find one of several longer versions of the list here.

Also, note how many of the quotes come from the 1990s or earlier -- making them a bit harder to check against online sources, and also, not all that relevant to today's discussions of gun safety. (We're fairly sure the Molly Ivins line is accurate, though. Sounds like her. And we all know how much legislative influence she had...) As Sparky the Wonder Penguin pointed out after the Tucson massacre, the debate on gun control is largely over, and for now at least, the NRA has won. "The occasional horrific civilian massacre is just the price the rest of us have to pay. Over and over again, apparently." If Congress won't pass limits on magazine size for semiautomatic rifles after Sandy Hook, then confiscation just plain isn't going to happen. You know, at least not until Hillary Clinton declares herself dictator for life and cancels all elections forever.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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