Deleted Email Of The Day: Stop Libeling Us Jazz Potheads, You Drunks!
Wow guise, did you see that Yr Wonkettegot a mention on CNN the other day? They really liked our story about CNN's very own Sanjay Gupta and his newfound lurve for the demon Marijuana; they quoted the full headline, and the kicker hed, too!
The Washington gossip site Wonkette posted a story with the headline, "When you've lost Sanjay Gupta you've lost America: Sanjay Gupta wants to get 'high' on the pot like a common jazz criminal."
(The kicker hed is the little extra jokey above the headline. That is your journamalism vocabulary for today). But our whimsical little piece with its many clever references and creative stream-of-altered-consciousness run-ons was NOT AMUSING to at least one reader, who emailed this cri de butthurt:
I'm a jazz musician and I think your choice of 'associated' words in the title: "'HIGH' ON THE POT LIKE A COMMON JAZZ CRIMINAL" denotes your lack of respect for jazz musicians. How the hell do you bunch together JAZZ & CRIMINAL???
Oh, dear. We have definitely harshed the wrong hepcat's mellow!
Our correspondent wishes to inform us that it is most unfair to single out for opprobrium the cool cats who dig the jazz, because our Police State makes a lawbreaker of all who love the gentle bud :
And oh yeah, all KIDS and ADULTS who smoke pot are criminals......doh!!!!
What the hell is wrong with you.
We are hopped up on goofballs, most likely. And then things start getting a bit personal, as we are accused of hypocrisy:
I don't know you personnally but from your writings you're a MAJOR A_HOLE with no respect for other people. Tell that to all your buddies next time you get LEGALLY DRUNK. Besides, I worked as a press photog. for a while and MOST journalists are HEAVY DRINKERS. So, get plastered, drive your car over over [sic] a wino, and give us Jazz musicians (who mostly starve) a break.
We feel just terrible about our unfair stereotyping. We will never again assume that potheads are mellow. Or maybe the jazz has just addled this poor soul; now that Sanjay Gupta has legalized marijuana, perhaps the CDC can look into the mind-altering properties of this be-bop and boogie woogie we hear so much about.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.