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Democracy's Troll Breitbart Says a Lot of Dumb Stuff To Victoria Jackson

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Human poop-leech Andrew Breitbart is probably best known for choosing carefully edited videos of black women who have done nothing wrong, but are actually pretty remarkable citizens, and trying to ruin their lives and the reputation of what is perhaps the most important civil rights group in American history. Unfortunately, the first time he did that, the media finally called him out for what he is, and the black-lady target was vindicated. Sad face. He's still around, though, because he is loud. Which brings us to this delightful WorldNetDaily column by idiot Tea Party celebrity Victoria Jackson. She loves Andrew Breitbart, and they've appeared together many times! Apparently Andrew thinks just the world of Victoria and her handstands, and says she will change "the landscape of Hollywood."


When I first met Andrew in L.A., he told me that history would look back on me and smile, that I would be one of the influences that changed the landscape of Hollywood from 100 percent liberal to at least 50-50 … something to that effect. I puffed up with pride and pictured myself winning my third Oscar, shrugging my shoulders, thanking God and hearing whispers from the front row, "She's the reason I switched to conservative!" "Me, too!" "I just love President Palin!" "I just got born again!" At the Vanity Fair party, Sean Penn sidles up to me and purrs into my ear, "Conservative women are so much sexier," and then Susan Sarandon says, "I always knew you were smart!"

Well, I'm pretty much banned from Hollywood right now, so I don't know exactly when that dream will come true, but …

"Banned from Hollywood" = "Nobody remembers who the fuck she is or why anybody would ever employ her"

Just look at the delight on his face! He knows a star when he's seen one. Perhaps she can put on blackface and star as Shirley Sherrod in his next video? That would probably be pretty dangerous, considering it may cause Los Angeles to literally catch on fire from the sheer brilliance of the performance, and would probably end liberalism once and for all.

On the way to my second tea-party speech, in '09, I asked Breitbart if it was philosophically correct if I called the president a communist. "People admit he's a Marxist, and Marx wrote the Communist Manifesto, so what's the difference?" After a long pause, Andrew said, "Victoria, say whatever you want to say." I took that as permission, so I started publicly discussing the state of our union in this simplest way I could, explaining our sudden government takeover and dying middle class.

Very logical, that. Yes, you should always ask Breitbart first for permission, as he has closets full of awards given for his excellent media ethics.

Andrew suddenly asked if I'd be his sidekick on the radio the next morning at 6 a.m. when he filled in for Dennis Miller. I quickly said yes! What an adventure! My house was far away in Acton, so Andrew called his wife, asked her permission and then invited me to stay at his home in the tony Bel Air area.

Andrew continued, "I thought of the title to my book today! I was eating pulled pork and it came to me, 'Righteous IndigNation'! You know, with the Right and the Nation in bold. …" "That's great!" I said, tingling with importance – I was one of the first people to know this.

OMG, Victoria! You were there when socialism was finally killed forever! Good luck with All Black People Are Racist: the Shirley Sherrod Story! [WND]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

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SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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