Democratic Midterm Strategy: Our Opponents Are Scumbags, Just Sayin'


It is an Immutable Politics Law that the President's party loses seats in the midterms! The only exceptions are if the country is fighting or about to fight a new, exciting war (2002) or if the Congress is attempting to impeach him for sex crimes (1998). This year there is also an unpleasant Recession thingie going on, and the recently passed health care reform hasn't yet made the transition from "scary thing I don't understand" to "entitlement that I view as sacred while I whine about 'welfare queens.'" This means that the Democrats are going to do not so well in November, probably! There's only one way they can hold on to their hard-won control of Congress: by pointing out, ever so subtly, that their opponents are mostly amoral assholes who say and do embarrassing things.

What are some of the terrible smears (if by "smears" we mean "unpleasant things that are also true") that the Democrats are spreading? Well, it seems that Jim Renacci (remember him?) at one point owed $1.4 million in back taxes; David Harmer got $160K in bonus and severance money from a firm that got a federal bailout; and Jon Runyan got a property tax break after reclassifying his New Jersey home as a "farm" because he owns donkeys. (Wait, doesn't he know that donkeys are liberals?)

Anyway, the Republicans are naturally whining about "wah wah dirty politics wah wah let's talk about our ideas," all the while failing to pay their taxes and using donkeys as tax breaks, then sexually molesting them. Democrats have even set up a crowdsourced site where you can upload videos from your marathon week-long stalking session of GOP candidates, once you finally get that golden footage of them saying something anti-Semitic while eating a puppy. Then the Democrats will win and we can all go back to having high-minded discussions about policy, at least until John Boehner's secret stash of child porn is leaked. [WP]


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