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Democrats Also Hate Zoo Patrons

Sorry, butterfuck! - WonketteWe can't prove the incoming Democratic leadership has anything to do this -- nobody will return e-mails today, for some reason -- but it's likely the National Zoo's new total ban on smoking has Nancy Pelosi's meddling fingerprints all over it.


Starting December 1, patriotic panda-loving Americans won't be able to smoke anywhere on the zoo grounds.

According to the lone AP reporter working today, the anti-freedom assault will start in the parking lots, where "disposal containers for smoking materials will also be installed."

Hooray for not using the word ashtray, fascists!

National zoo bans all smoking, even outdoors [Associated Press]

Earlier: Democrats to Also Ban Firing Guns in the Air While the House is in Session

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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