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It's time to travel back to Georgia to check on some old "friends" we met here last spring. If you recall, we worked tirelessly to report on the many shenanigans, frauds, schemes, and scams cooked up by the Georgia GOP. Some of the interesting things we found were: a shady secretary of State, minorities dropped from voting rolls, an exact match system, janky voting machines, long lines, false claims of hacking, and a stupid ass deportation bus.

Speaking of that deportation bus, guess what happened to the candidate who bought that bus in order to round up "murderers, rapists, kidnappers, child molesters, and other criminals"?

If you said, "LOCK HIM UP!" please enjoy this moment of freshly squeezed schadenfreude, because instead of locking up "criminals" (that means dark people) he will be in JAIL with criminals who prolly won't like him that much.

From AJC:

The charges against the Forsyth County Republican, who will likely remain in office until mid-January, stem from a May incident in which [unsuccessful gubernatorial candidate Michael] Williams reported his Gainesville campaign office was burglarized. At the time, Williams' campaign manager said $300,000 worth of computer servers that were being used to mine cryptocurrency had been taken from the building.

Wait a fucking minute. Mining cryptocurrency? Did his campaign consist of mining bitcoins and driving that dumb ass deportation bus around until it broke the hell down? (It really broke down, lol!) No wonder you came in last place, you lazy bastard. State Senator Michael Williams, of the "Deportation Bus" Williamses, has been charged with Insurance Fraud, Falsely Reporting a Crime, and Making A False statement, and has turned himself in to Hall County Jail.


Maybe you're wondering, "What the fuck did he do to manage to get himself charged with crimes?" Oh, nothing much, he just seems to have possibly FAKED a robbery during his campaign, filed false insurance claims, and then lied to the Georgia Bureau of Investigations. You know how things get when you haven't caught any immigrants to throw in your bus, so you get bored and start committing crimes to pass the time? No? Me neither. We sure are glad (not really?) he wasn't undocumented when committing those crimes, because as you all know, being undocumented is pretty much THE WORST MURDER EVER.

Williams is accused of lying to a Georgia Bureau of Investigation agent when he said he was at home in Forsyth County, not in the Gainesville area at the time of the purported burglary. The indictment, which doesn't say what allegedly actually happened to the servers, accuses Williams of making a false insurance claim related to the servers.

Ok, so what's the deal with all the Republicans lying to law enforcement? I mean, it's becoming an epidemic at this point, and while I enjoy watching them go to jail, a tiny part of me really wants to know what the fuck is wrong with them. I don't even understand the types of lies they tell, and I often wonder if they even know they're lying anymore. I swear I remember them being all like, "LAW AND ORDER!! RESPECT THE POLICE!!" every time black people decided to hold a rally in memory of another unarmed black person shot by police. It's almost like the laws aren't meant for THEM.

What happened here was in no way a surprise to anyone who has been paying attention to how boldly and blatantly criminal Republicans have become under Trump. When we saw Williams standing outside that deportation bus the first time, we had a thought about him that he should have taken as advice when he was speaking with the Georgia Bureau of Investigations.

Perhaps he should "self deport" to STFULand and mind his own business before someone gets hurt.

We were right. Maybe you should shut the fuck up sometimes, Michael. But you won't. Which is actually very okay with us. We like being pleasantly surprised each time one of you gets caught committing the crimes that you blame on immigrants. It's Poetic Justice.

[AJC]

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Wonderbitch

FollowWonderbitch aka Bravenak aka Bianca DeLaRosa, loves her jobs as Social Media Manager for Wonkette more than Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves lying to America. Bianca also moonlights as a Witch (THE BAD KIND!!) and is a Freelance Goddess of All Things Ever. Be very nice her because she likes to curse people, especially mean people. You can find Bianca on Twitter @bravewriting or email her at bianca@wonkette.com

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An unhinged wannabe fascist who tweets about golden showers did a news conference in the Rose Garden this afternoon. Also, Donald Trump was there.

Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro is in town, and everything about today's public appearance with Trump and Bolsonaro has been real stupid, just like how it was real stupid when Bolsonaro's stupid son was the stupid guest of honor the other night at a stupid Steve Bannon event at the stupid Trump trash palace hotel in DC.

During their pool spray, Trump excitedly told reporters that he was making plans to give NATO privileges to Brazil, because of how Brazil elected a big gross dipshit just like America did. Of course, considering how Trump treats actual NATO countries, Bolsonaro might want to reconsider whether he wants that.

Then a reporter asked him about his blubbering whiny-ass attacks on John McCain, who is still dead.

That's right, Donald Trump didn't even avoid the question about his very embarrassing behavior. He spoke about McCain as if McCain were still alive, whined about McCain killing Obamacare repeal, and concluded by saying, "I was never a fan of John McCain, and I never will be." As for McCain, he will continue living rent-free in the president's nightmares and his face will be the face of Trump's insecurities, because we guess that's what happens to John McCains when they die.

But enough about the pool spray! After they met in the Oval Office and did whatever fascists who should be prohibited entry to the White House via an electric doggie fence do (sniffed each other's butts, probably), they entered the Rose Garden and proceeded to hike their legs on democracy some more.

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Yep, we're breaking out the Wikimedia kitten image for this one.

CNN is out today with a story on members of the anti-vaccination/pro-disease movement who have found a delightful new way to win converts to their side in the war on science: find parents (mothers, generally) who have recently lost a child to a preventable disease, and then harass them on social media, because after all, good people refuse vaccines and anyone who advocates for vaccines must be burned to the ground. As your lawyer (we are not a lawyer), we advise you to secure any hurlable heavy objects near you before reading.

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