"as we pulled up further, they were depicting decapitating babies and that happened to be on the side of the vehicle that my 2 year old was on and it was very traumatic for her she started crying and screaming because of the baby and it took me hours to calm her down."

Hey, it's in the Bible, so it's suitable for all ages, lady. You have a problem with the Bible? Extra points to the doofus local teevee reporter for describing the display as "historically accurate," but all points lost for their not including any video of the actual display. No photos appear to be online either, so instead we'll just link to an appropriate song.

The elf held a sign saying "We renounce the Devil and all his deeds and all his being." Knudsen believes that elves represent demonic spirits from Scandinavia's pre-Christian past, and executed the little toymaker (or dentist) to remind people that elves and Christmas do not mix. We respect his effort to keep fictional worlds from colliding, but as fanboys, we have no real problem with crossovers, as long as they're well done, like that one fanfic where Twilight Sparkle ends up teleporting into Hogwarts. Rev. Knudsen's efforts at elficide were subverted by local pranksters -- trolls, as it were -- who left garden gnomes around the pastor's house and kidnapped the elf and left a note saying it would be returned after the new year. The elfnapper turned himself in, but Vendsyssel police did not press charges, saying their "caseload was too heavy to make investigating theft of a stuffed toy elf a priority.” In America, we're pretty sure someone would have ended up getting shot.

The 5-foot-by-5-foot poster the Satanists hoped to display showed an angel falling into hell along with a message reading, “Happy holidays from the Satanic Temple.”

If nothing else, should make for a fun lawsuit.

"The lady looked at me,” said [Kristina] Vindiola. “I thought she was going to put money in the kettle. She came up to me and said, 'Do you believe in God?' And she says, ‘You're supposed to say Merry Christmas,' and that's when she hit me."

Phoenix police said that there was insufficient evidence to arrest the woman who Vindiola identified as her assailant; no word on whether the Merry Christmas Vigilante has yet been signed to a contract with Fox News.

O'Keefe also believes that Rand Paul's twittered airing of grievances may have finally made Festivus uncool:

“When Rand Paul tries to seem relevant with 15-year-old pop cultural references, it reminds me of when Bob Hope used to dress up as the Fonz, but that’s just me.”

Hahaha, don't get your hopes up, guy. In the next few years, we should probably expect grumpy editorials about how Festivus has gotten too commercialized.