Why the hell are we being subjected to this hot mess of a hearing starring the two women we hoped against hope would go away after 2016? Are there no actual issues that the House Judiciary Committee could be working on besides helping Diamond and Silk in their war with Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg? Probably not.

Diamond and Silk, aka Lynette Hardaway (Diamond) and Rochelle Richardson (Silk), arrived on Capitol Hill to give testimony under oath about how they have been oppressed and silenced on social media. Apparently, in place of the endless War on Christmas that Trump triumphantly ended, we are now confronted with a new stupid imaginary war against Conservative Censorship. They say their Free Speech has been violated, and we say that we wish that were possible. We doubt they will ever attain silence.

Also, Democrats are meanies for not marching in the streets over the way Facebook violently attacked Diamond and Silk by changing its algorithm. And limiting their account. And Youtube are haters and demonetized their pro Trump jeremiad videos because they say Diamond and Silk do Hate Speech. You're playing with their money, Silicon Valley, and they will make you pay.

Richardson insisted if it were Black Lives Matter, Democrats would be marching in the streets and calling Mark Zuckerberg “all types of racists.” Perhaps Ms. Richardson needs to peruse the timelines of Black Democrats on Facebook and Twitter to see if she can count all the types of racists he gets called everyday. So many endless types!! He gets called many and more of them.

Obviously, them being "silenced" is a load of crap, since they constantly pop up randomly on Twitter feeds that seriously do not want them there. Also, they never go away. And? They lie. Too also in addition and? EVERYBODY has had their accounts "limited" on Facebook, because it decided being in the lie business after 2016 2017 part of 2018 was a bad look, so it just washed its hands of news and politics completely! EVERY NEWS PUBLISHER has seen their shit drop. (Wonkette's Facebook referrals have dropped by two-thirds since 2016! Luckily, we don't need ads and we still have YOU.)

But according to Ms. Hardaway, their Facebook account was limited for SIX MONTHS, 29 DAYS, FIVE HOURS, FORTY THREE MINUTES AND FORTY SECONDS!!! And Facebook never contacted them. Which was a lie since they CLEARLY CONTACTED HER ON TWITTER! Oh, the DRAMA! Here are our receipts.

Here they claim they have not been contacted.

Here is how we know they are lying.

It only took a few questions for them to lie unabashedly, with confident expressions and fearless hearts. It’s almost like one of the requirements for associating with Donald Trump is to lie your ass off until you get immunity from prosecution. You know, like Michael Flynn? Yeah. He’s still a felon, though. Maybe lying under oath is a bad idea? Diamond and Silk give no fucks about your fake news, aka facts, they decide what facts are for you.

What was the other question that was asked of the dubious duo that caused them to actually commit more perjury at Congressional Hearing?

“Have you ever been paid by the Trump Campaign?” (They were asked repeatedly.)

HOW FUCKING EASY WAS THAT QUESTION?! Easy enough to lie about. They said no. Repeatedly. Well, the one who did most of the talking said no and the other one agreed. They were both lying.

Apparently Rep. Hakeem Jeffries has a night job at the receipts factory, because he whipped out an FEC filing that clearly stated that they got paid $1274.94 for “field consulting.” And they did not appreciate getting caught lying at a Congressional hearing one bit!

Undaunted, they pressed forward on the attack, declaring, “We are familiar with that particular lie. We can see that you do fall for fake news." Did she really just say that? Oh, GOOD GRIEF! How is the paperwork filed by the Trump Campaign fake news? Is any news not fake? Are we ever going to fact again?

Ted Lieu did point out the most important fact of the hearing when he made this intelligent observation: “This is a stupid and ridiculous hearing.” We agree, Ted. Everything about this administration has been stupid and ridiculous. And Diamond and Silk are lying liars from the lie factory.

And now it is your OPEN THREAD.

[Daily Beast]

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Wonderbitch is an extremely literate and angry black woman who likes to write things about many things. You can find her dishing out hot takes on Twitter @bravenakblog, or pretending to finish up her History Degree in her spare time.

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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