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Dick Cheney, America's Only Hero, Much Closer To Heroic Death

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  • He's more machine than man now.Iraq/Katrina/Florida Recount hero Dick Cheney may have finally used up his five death deferments. The beloved 69-year-old former vice president now has a "ventricular assist device" -- or a dual-battery heart pump -- implanted in his abdomen with motors churning the blood through his otherwise dead heart. The pumps "were once used only to keep patients alive until they could obtain a transplant," but they're beginning to be installed to simply drag out the congestive heart failure for up to two years. Oh and don't cry because Cheney will still be able to play golf, with this robot ooze pump jammed into his chest and batteries dangling under his armpits. Or, as Alex Pareene writes in his Salon headline, "Dick Cheney's heart goes just as America learns to love him again." You know, because the Politico says fewer Americans despise Dick Cheney today, because hey he's not so bad compared to that Robert Gibbs! [USA Today/Radio Free Europe/Salon]

  • Nancy Pelosi is so steamed about Robert Gibbs saying Democrats are in danger of losing the House that she's pretending she doesn't know who he is. Uh, but aren't Democrats in danger of losing the House? And if that is true -- it's true, as any party facing a midterm during a Depression is going to need to work hard to keep its House majority -- shouldn't maybe Nancy Pelosi be doing something about it, rather than acting like the insane Queen of Hearts in Alice's Adventures In Wonderland? [New York Post/Politico]
  • Conservatives are super scared that "half white prince" Barack Obama's Department of Justice won't protect America's most beleaguered minority, white voters, in the next election. [Washington Post]
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