Did Edwards Use Campaign Bucks For Sex Cover-Up?

You have probably heard by now about this "John Edwards" character, who constructed his ownvulgarian Monticello out of dirt, mirrors, and his own crippling self-regard out in a mud-patch in North Carolina. He also ran for president, twice, but nobody wanted to elect him because he was such an awful reptilian phony. THEN it came out he was fucking some dreadful hippie on the 2008 campaign trail, which made his wife vomit when she heard about it, and the reason you haven't seen that last bit mentioned on your Wonkette is that we honestly find the whole episode just that distasteful. But this we can get behind: possible misappropriation of campaign funds!

Basically, the Edwards campaign was kept afloat not only by donations from private citizens and official campaign organizations, but also from nonprofits. These nonprofits do not have to abide by the same reporting rules as official organizations, and it can be hard to figure out who has donated to them and what their money was spent on.

And this is the question for Edwards: whether the not-so-transparent financial entities that supported his campaign also financed the travels of Rielle Hunter, the dumb crystal-worshipper whom he hired to make videos of him (when he wasn't busy conducting his lurid sex affair with her). Why this would be illegal or improper when Hunter was in fact contracted to do an actual job, and not just hired to UGH "bone him," is a mystery. Maybe because she shouldn't have been hired in the first place? Ah, who knows.

Anyway, federal investigators are looking into the Edwards campaign's finances, and they probably won't find anything because Edwards is a LAWYER, for crying out loud, so he knows how to hide money. Maybe they are just doing it to be dicks!

The best part of the story is how Edwards secured a $3.5 million donation from a wealthy 98-year-old widow named Bunny, which squares pretty well with anecdotal evidence that the whole Edwards campaign was kept afloat by contributions from googly-eyed older women who found him charming.

Feds are looking at Edwards' campaign [Charlotte Observer]


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