Last Sunday, the WP produced an exhaustive (and by that we mean "boring") report on the conditions under which Kerry won his medals, though there's apparently still some question as to the role of the guys on the grassy knoll. No, really: We love conspiracy theories as much as the next rumor-mongerer, and the ones about Kerry's self-inflicted wounds involve his ass. (Bonus!) But if the national press is going to give this much attention to Swift Boat Aluminum Foil Hat Veterans for Truth, shouldn't they be fair and check out all the vague accusations that surround what Bush was doing while Kerry was out spending Easter in Korea (or whatever)? People who at least sound normal seem to think there's something to the tall tales of hard partying W did down in Alabama serving (and not serving) in the National Guard. Something about "not just playing golf at the Mountain Brook Country Club." Now, we don't mind just making up some stuff about this. In fact, we would enjoy it (it would involve drunken gay sex with members of the University of Alabama football team. . . ) But, you know, we'd hate to let satire get in the way of a good story. . .
THE BUSH CONSPIRACY THEORY GENERATOR [Buttafly.com]