This guy thinks he's qualified to judge people. Really.

Uh, what is Mike Huckabee talking about? Like seriously, that is a very common question to ask about Mike Huckabee, because he's a gross idiot whose son murdered a dog and who thinks he's the king of jokes, but this quote from Huckabee, about how he's disappointed in Lindsey Graham, because Graham said House Intelligence Committee chair Devin Nunes was running an "Inspector Clouseau"-style investigation into the Trump Russia scandal, is just weird:

"I'm very disappointed in Lindsey," Huckabee said. "I sometimes wonder what uniform he puts on each morning when goes out to the field to play, and I'm not just talking about the partisan uniform."

"But I think to bring that kind of criticism and to call the chairman of the House Intel Committee -- who is a person of integrity -- to call him Inspector Clouseau, to use those kind of terms basically to diminish him, it's very unfortunate, it's demeaning, and frankly it just makes no sense," Huckabee added. "He ought to be calling Devin Nunes and saying, 'Congressman what do you have? Tell me what you know that you can tell me about, because we need to find out if there's something going on here that is nefarious.'"

Um, hmmmm, what? Leaving aside the fact that Devin Nunes isn't telling his own committee members what intel he has, which your Wonkette knows about but Mike Huckabee apparently does not. And forgetting that Mike Huckabee, a man who is not in Congress and isn't privy to any sort of intelligence, had to take the fried squirrel breast he was gnawing on out of his stupid mouth so he could tell wingnut radio lady Laura Ingraham how sorely disappointed he is with Lindsey Graham, what is Huckabee saying here? Is he saying when Lindsey Graham "plays the field" he puts on his homofag uniform, because he's a gaywad? And if not, WHAT THE HELL IS HE SAYING?

Is he impugning Graham's patriotism, saying Lindsey Graham wears some kind of UN-AMERICAN uniform? Because that would be fucking rich, for a person like Mike Huckabee, whose daughter works for Crown Prince Pussgrab, who very well may be a Russian intelligence asset, to go after somebody who wants a true, thorough investigation into Russia's influence on last year's election.

It's not that we expect Mike Huckabee to be above sophomoric jokes -- this is a guy who reduced himself to boner giggles talking about how cool it would have been if he could have pretended to be a lady when he was in high school, so he could shower with all the booby-knocker having girls -- but to be clear, is he calling Lindsey Graham a fag?

Inquiring minds are very curious!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Photo by Daniel Stockman, Creative Commons license 2.0

It's Sunday, and that means it's time for a break from the ongoing grind of awfulness out there. Let's dive into some cool, funny, thoughtful stuff to fortify ourselves before we get back to the daily madness, shall we?

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After watching President Arty McDeals twist in the wind for a month, IRL politician Mitch McConnell finally decided to throw the mook a lifeline. Despite constant screaming about women with duct tape over their mouths, Trump is getting blamed for the shutdown and even his own supporters are starting to turn on him. So Ol' Yertle summoned Mike Pence and Jared Kushner to his chambers for some #RealTalk.

"Tell Donald that he has to offer something so it looks like the Democrats are the ones who won't compromise." He said. (Probably.)

"That's great," squeaked young Jared (allegedly), "Democrats are desperate. We've got them right where we want them." McConnell blinked hard.

"No, Jared," he probably said. "They're not going to take the deal. We'd have more luck getting Mexico to pay for it. The point is to offer something silly so they turn us down, and then we try to convince the public that the shutdown is Democrats' fault."

"I don't get it," said Jared (allegedly), as Mother's boy Pence furrowed his brow and sighed through his nose. (Not allegedly, it's his signature move.)

"I know," Mitch might have said. "Believe me, I know."

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