Mollie Hemingway Pretty Sure Everybody Takes $70,000 Hairstyle Deduction On Their Taxes

Trump

It's amazing but there are still some conservatives so strung out Donald Trump they're willing to defend the president's creative tax accounting. Clown college dropout (allegedly!) Donald Trump Jr. might've tried changing the subject Monday to Hunter Biden's Ukrainian murder spree, but not many Republicans were jumping at the chance to defend President Tax Cheat McDeadBeat. Fortunately, Federalist Senior Editor Mollie Hemingway was willing to step into the breach, which Trump deducted last year as a business expense. (Allegedly!)

During a Fox News appearance, Hemingway claimed the New York Times expose about Trump's creative accounting failed to connect outside the “regular echo chamber" of people who think citizens should pay taxes for the roads and bridges we use.

HEMINGWAY: I think if anything was alleged that was illegal or immoral the New York Times would've put it in the headline.

That doesn't quite set the highest bar for behavior from the president. She's right, though: The Times headline didn't scream “Trump's Illegal And Immoral Deeds" or “Jazz And Liquor! Donnie's Downfall." It just implied he was a big dumb dud of a businessman who actively avoided any civic responsibility. Someone has to pay for all those “invisible" jets Trump thinks are so cool.

HEMINGWAY: They clearly are working very hard to have something negative about President Trump.

It doesn't take much work to come up with negative facts about Trump. You could do that part time. It's the rightwing hack media that's racing against the clock, pulling double shifts to stop Joe Biden, and to no avail.


HEMINGWAY: Depreciation, itemizing deductions, all these things he's doing are things probably all of us do, that most people do when they're filing their taxes, so I'm not quite sure what's supposed to be news.

It's “news" that the fake billionaire president didn't pay taxes for 10 years out of 15 prior to taking office, and when he did pay taxes, it wasn't enough to get Uncle Sam a seat in Economy Plus with extra legroom.

Hemingway doesn't just insult our intelligence. She also casts aspersions on our tax dodging skills. If we all filed our taxes like a common Trump, how would the government have any money? In 2017, a reported 141 million Americans paid taxes. If our bill topped out at $750 each, the government would've only took in about $107 billion, which is significantly less than the $1.6 trillion paid that year in individual income taxes. Maybe Hemingway secretly is down with defunding the police!

This is a classic Trump defense, by the way. Trump claims the story is false because he knows how bad it looks, but his sycophants go on Fox News and insist we've all done what Trump denies doing, so what's the big deal?

It's also telling that Hemingway says “all of us" itemize deductions. Only 30 percent of taxpayers, mostly high income, choose to itemize. Most of us take the standard “sucker and loser" deduction. In recent years, especially since I started working from home and doing more freelance work, I've itemized, but I don't claim my house as a rental property because whenever friends stay over, they bring wine. (It's like an exchange of goods and services!) I don't claim appointments with my hair stylist as a medical expense because she recommends yoga exercises for me. And I don't double-dip the deduction because I also provide a therapeutic ear whenever she shares her relationship troubles. In short, I don't cheat. While avoiding prison is a compelling motivation in itself, I also believe in the public good and think we should all contribute our fair share to funding the government.

Trump is the worst person in America and thus the world. I resent when people like Hemingway try to make Trump seem less repulsive by dragging us in the mud with him.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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