Did Obama Murder This Oklahoma Congressional Candidate Last Night? Probably

So far, nobody's calling it a conspiracy, but it's the only reasonable conclusion: just days before the election, a nice old man running for Congress died after being hit by a car, and you just know that Obama had to be involved. Earl Emmitt Everett, 81, a retired teacher and Korean War vet, died Sunday after being critically injured in an "accident" Friday. He'd been running a "decided underdog" campaign against Oklahoma Republican Markwayne Mullin, and ... oh, Everett was a Democrat? Never mind then. Just an accident.

Considering Markwayne Mullin's strong bid last year for Wonkette's coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award -- he complained that he saw a "physically fit" couple buying food with food stamps, and worried that a higher minimum wage would result in $20 anus burgers -- we're surprised that Mullin didn't blame Everett's death on Obamacare.

[Associated Press / CBS News]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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