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Star Parker, black conservative pundit and author of "Pimps, Whores, and Welfare Brats," has a very imaginative and disgusting mind. Just Monday she decided to open up her uninspiring mouth and spew forth a stream of bullshit that would make her mentor Rush Limbaugh mighty proud. While pondering the "Gay Agenda" she breathlessly declared her suspicions about what the "B" in LGBTQ was really all about. And just like the worst Encyclopedia Brown that ever lived, she came up with the dumbest conclusion, obviously on purpose, and she felt quite proud of herself. Star Parker self-righteously declared that the "B" secretly means BESTIALITY!!


"But notice they skipped over the 'B,'" Parker continued, apparently not understanding that same-sex marriage lets bisexuals get married to their same-sex partners as well. "There are some that say this 'B' is going to bombard us with real vileness in our society if they get what they want," she continued, "because it's not about bisexuality, it's about bestiality."

See, Star Parker obviously knows these things because somehow she is a super secret spy who gets all the good intel on the Deep State Gay Agenda, and the battle has never been about equal rights. No, Dear Reader, it has always been about salacious and sinister acts of fornication with farm animals, and all those Gay Weddings have just been a ploy to ease the nation into sheep sex and high thread count sheets.

Her nasty imagination notwithstanding, Star Parker possibly spends more time googling ZooPorn than in actually researching any topic that she decides to discuss that day. It's literally the only sensible conclusion. It would take years of Sundays to actually educate and inform people like her that there are actually those of us who like men AND women, so none of us will waste our time when we can just ridicule her for being stupid. And for the ZooPorn addiction? Knock it off, Star! Stop watching that garbage, it's bad for you and it's bad for the zoo animals.

Since she was being so blindly dumb, the host of the show, Vocal Point, jumped in to ask Parker what the hell she was talking about. Parker had to admit that no, she actually has no idea what the hell she's talking about, yet somehow she held firm to her idiocy.

"When asked for clarification by the host of the show, Parker said they didn't know what the B stood for, but also said, "We do know that there is an agenda and we do know that there have been discussions about bestiality in their closed doors. I'm just saying don't be surprised if we find out that that 'B' is not what they said publicly."

Oooooo! Apparently there are super secret meetings of the B gang where we discuss all manner of Donkey Konging and nobody invited me. I would have voted no on my imaginary ballot for sure. Honestly, while it feels bad to be attacked by such stupid people, at the same time it's rather nice to know that Bisexuality is as scary as the rest of the Gay Agenda for once. I'm not sure whether to fight this dumb ass attack or start barking "I'm BISEXUAL, GRRR!" at the next coven of Evangelicals I see.

While it is obvious to the rest of America that the B has always stood for bisexuality, the forces of conservatism are at a loss when it comes to creating new monsters. The bestiality angle has been used before, like when Ben Carson (the pyramids were for GRAIN STORAGE!! PERIOD!!) compared same sex marriage to bestiality, so this is not very impressive. Even Pizza-gate had more hardcore believers.

It is time for America to admit that conservatives really have no idea what the hell is going on outside their bubble of bitter bosom heaving recriminations and daily doses of deluded and disturbing dramas. They are like blind rats in a box filled with their own waste and rot, lashing out at anything that moves, trying to tear through the walls and biting themselves in the process. If you see one gnashing their teeth near you, back away slowly, it's contagious.

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[Daily Dot]

Wonderbitch

FollowWonderbitch aka Bravenak aka Bianca DeLaRosa, loves her jobs as Social Media Manager for Wonkette more than Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves lying to America. Bianca also moonlights as a Witch (THE BAD KIND!!) and is a Freelance Goddess of All Things Ever. Be very nice her because she likes to curse people, especially mean people. You can find Bianca on Twitter @bravewriting or email her at bianca@wonkette.com

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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