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Dim Michele Bachmann Wants To Drill Everglades For Oil That Isn't There

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Shrill caustic harpie Michele Bachmann is so excited to destroy any rare ecosystem at all with hermaniacal dream of drilling gaping holes into the country's environmental preserves that she (predictably) forgot to check her Everglades National Park treasure map to see whether there was actually any oil buried under her latest senseless target to justify the pretext. Whose fault is that? The terrible godless scientists, as usual. University of South Florida geologist Dr. Albert Hine notes, "There is no known evidence that there is a significant hydrocarbon deposit beneath the Everglades." To which Michele said: "The radical environmentalists put up one road block after another to prevent accessing American energy." Just because there isn't any oil there doesn't mean Michelle Bachmann can't drill for oil there. God told her to!


Michele's randomly constructed rationale for the proposed desecration of God's remaining beautiful wild spaces is ironically the argument that God hid oil under the Everglades so Michele could rip it out.

From WTSP:

Tuesday, a CBS reporter in Miami confronted Bachmann about her call for drilling, asking, "Why would you invade that natural resource with gas and oil drilling?" Bachmann responded, "Let's access this wonderful treasure trove of energy that God has given us in this country. Let's access it responsibly."

And even Allen West thinks this is insane. Hoooo-weeee! [WSTP]

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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