Dinesh D'Souza Crying For Help Again

Soooooo lonely.

Oh for fuck's sake:

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/606408/donald-trump-will-love-vladimir-putin-forever-and-ever-and-you-cant-stop-him"></a>[/wonkbar]Vladimir Putin is a dictator ("elected leader") under whose reign a whole bunch of journalists and dissidents have been killed, MAYBE by Putin, MAYBE by some of his former KGB buddies ... who even knows? Russia has become one of the most homophobic countries in the world under Putin. And yes, Donald Trump fucking LOVES Putin, mostly because Trump believes Putin called him "brilliant." Of course, the Russian word Putin used more accurately translates in English to "shiny" or "colorful," which leads us to believe Putin was making fun of the orange spray tan on Trump's wrinkly sack of skin, or maybe Putin was just saying he's a big loud shitshow, who knows?

But back to the point. A #NeverTrumper named Tim Miller, who used to work for Jeb Bush, responded to D'Souza's sad tweet, and we have to admit it made us LOL:

Like we said, a tweet worthy of a HEARTY CHORTLE. Trouble is, it's not true.

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/582425/lets-all-watch-convicted-felon-dinesh-dsouza-whine-about-his-martyrdom-while-strolling-the-beach"></a>[/wonkbar]Saying Dinesh D'Souza would have gotten killed dead by Obama if Obama was like Putin feeds into the greatest delusion of D'Souza's life, which is that his work matters. Oh, he bitches and moans about how Obama put him in prison because his silly little melodramatic "documentaries" totally EXPOSE the man in the White House. He thinks Obama did this to himpersonally as a way to silence him. The truth is that D'Souza went to prison like a common criminal because he is a convicted felon who was found guilty of making illegal campaign contributions. And he got sent to CUSHY OVERNIGHT JAIL, where he got to do Fox News appearances, but we know it was HAAAAAAAARD for him, because there were so many hardened criminals around him, and also because a mean judge wouldn't give him summer vacation, from jail.

He whined about the "lawless" Obama administration, from jail. He called Obama "ghetto," FROM JAIL.

The truth is that if Obama "loved" America the way Putin "loves" Russia, D'Souza would be a completely free and safe man, because we're pretty sure OBAMA HAS NO FUCKING IDEA WHO DINESH D'SOUZA IS. Oh, we're sure Obama has heard the name before. Joe Biden probably has LOLed with him in the White House latrine while they were crossing streams -- so unpresidential, Barry! -- and made jokes like "D'Souza? More like D'SNOOZE-A, AMIRITE? AMIRITE????" And Barry responded, "More like D'Douchebag, LOL!"

Ever since poor, oppressed Dinesh D'Souza got sprung from jail, he's been doing SHOCK MOVIES! about Hillary, and good god, Obama and Hillary haven't come after him even once. And she's the one with the supposed "body count" or whatever! Awwwww, poor Dinesh, too much of a fucking failure to even make the Clinton Kill List, LOLOLOLOL!

Anyway, the point is he's a sad fuck-up, and that's what we have to say about that, SEACREST OUT.

[Dinesh D'Souza's sad Twitter account]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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