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Disgusting Capitol Hill Cancer Machine Now Operable Again!

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An ecstatic Hill staffer spreads the good news -- nay, thebest news for Hill staffers in probably their whole lives! "Here is a picture of the cock-tease hot dog vending machine that has been inoperable for the past 6 months. With the passage of health care reform which means free coverage for everyone except white males over age 50, the machine is now back in working order so that we can get fat and Obama's death panels can't do shit about it. You can get an Oscar Meyer weiner for $2.00, and some dog labeled 'cheddar' for $3.00." Almost makes you want to work there. All hail the Cancer Machine!

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I was in D.C. last week for the first time since Donald Trump proved that our electoral process is silly. It feels like Vegas now with all the images of Trump around. Then I remembered he has the same job as the guy in the Jefferson Memorial. I tried to rationalize it in my head: Jefferson had unprotected sex with enslaved women. Trump reportedly has unprotected sex with adult film stars who can more or less come and go as they please. I suppose that's an improvement.

But how did we get here? How did our institutions fail us? It's not so much that Trump is an unqualified, racist radish head. He's also ridiculously corrupt.

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How can people be THIS BAD at their jobs?!?!? Did the State Department's social media team really schedule a live discussion of "traveling with kids" while the media is showing babies snatched at the border and imprisoned in cages?

OH. MY. GOD.

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