True love's kiss Achtung! Attention!One Million Moms and Todd Starnes and all the other usual idiots have a new tizzy! It seems the Disney program "Once Upon A Time" is gaying up Red Riding Hood and Dorothy Gale (from Kansas) and making them kiss each other on their mouth holes like big ol' Scissor Sister lesby-friends!

One Million Moms and Todd Starnes are incorrect: Sapphoizing Ruby and Dot isn't the problem with "Once Upon A Time." The problem with "Once Upon A Time" came in its first season, when a good birth mom showed up to rescue her birth son from his evil adopted mom after like eight years and explained the adoptive mom WASN'T HIS REAL MOTHER, UNLIKE HER, REAL MOM OF THE FUCKING YEAR. This was presented as a good and heroic course of action.

To be fair, the adoptive mom was an evil queen; but she never abused her son; she helicoptered a little maybe; she loved him. Had she kidnapped him or something? SHE HAD NOT. Birth Mom gave him up fair and square, and then all of a sudden decided she knew what was best for another woman's child, and proceeded to be a total dick and tell the adoptive mom to get her hands off "MY SON" and stuff, and fuck you lady I am no longer watching your show.

Anyway, people really like "Once Upon A Time," it seems like a cute show, I love Disney and don't hate it for princessifying your daughter (although I continue to be struck by how far superior The Princess And The Frog was to stupid Frozen and yet nobody ever cared about it or watched it, I'm sure that has nothing to do with the heroine being black, LOL just kidding yes it does), and yay for lezzies! Maybe I will watch it again, but probably not. If anything would get me to do so, though, it would be lots more lesbian kisses.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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