Do Not Be A Dummy And Forget How We Are Liveblogging Tonight's Democratic Debate
That's you right now.
What's shakin', DUMMIES? Just sittin' around, bein' DUMMIES? Just fooling, you are not so dumb after all. Because obviously (OBVIOUSLY) you are planning to meet us late this evening here at Ye Olde Wonkette News Tyme Webbe Page, as we liveblog the FUCK out of the Democratic Debate! Rebecca, who is the boss of you, will be doing the blooging post-Detroit Drinky Thing (4 to 7 p.m. at St. Cece's, DUMMIES), unless she calls in "sick" (drunk). WON'T THAT BE FUN!
[contextly_sidebar id="YZknO4MMoaby2GM5EvZ6baRezpJ6eYBy"]What's going to happen in this debate? Oh just EVERYTHING WE ALREADY SPLAINED TO YOU THIS MORNING, that's all. So if you are confused about how these things work, you click that link and learn all about Hillary and Bernie and how they are going to fight and tongue-kiss and do all the other things too, live from New Hampshire!
[contextly_sidebar id="G8GYAhiCYjyByOOV8RxIOdr6qQSXegqU"]It all goes down at 9 PM ET, so you'll probably want to order your pizza on your Obamaphone sometime before that, so you can get settled in with us. In the meantime, you should probably go ahead and buy your Hillary Clinton t-shirt, or your Bernie Sanders t-shirt, since the Bernie t-shirts are going away very soon, and you'll definitely want to get one of the last copies!
OK, so ... yeah? You come here. You sit down on internets. You LOL at our liveblog of Bernie and Hillary. Everybody wins! UNLESS YOU ARE A DUMMY.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.