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Do Not Click Mark Halperin's Link, It's A Live Feed Of Him Masturbating

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Here's "the news:" tomorrow morning, Barack Obama will speak at 10:10 to outline his plan for closing Guantanamo Bay, if there stillis a plan, while Dick Cheney will speak to the American Enterprise Institute at 10:30 re: his favorite torture moments. In other words, if you live anywhere in the continental United States and open your window right now, you'll be able to hear the violent fapping sounds emanating from Time magazine's Washington bureau.


It's not just Mark Halperin's "The Page" web page either. On the Time Swampland blog, famous nuisance Michael Scherer has composed a long piece titled, "The Coming (Cheney v. Obama) Thrilla?" Deep breath:

I am supposed to advise you that there is electricity in the Washington swamp air, a ringing tension, a sharp static, a fibrous charge that will explode at any moment. I should compare this moment to Manila, circa 1975, when Muhammed Ali was cavorting about with a rubber gorilla, taunting Joe Frazier into furious focus before the big fight.

[Fucking MURDER me] DUDE, HELLS YEAH, ROCK AND ROLL! BUT WHO'S WHO BRO?

If Ali had the Nation of Islam to back him up, Cheney has the Nation Of Rebublicans, such as it remains--a cavalcade of aspiring tough guys, Newt Gingrich, John Boehner, the talk radio gabbers. In recent weeks, following Cheney's lead, they have settled on national security as their best card left to play against Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and the bunch. (This, in itself, is an amazing admission, given Obama's dramatic expansion of domestic government.) And so they are hammering hard, trying to disrupt the cool of Mister Cool, President O, who I can now posit as Frazier, the workhorse, his head down, focused on the fight.

TOTALLY but wait, isn't Barack Obama the current president with executive powers, meaning he may not see the exercise of these powers as a boxing match with despised private citizen Dick Cheney, who's delivering a paid speech to professional wingnuts?

Scherer ends with a fairly radical suggestion:

Either way, the bottom line remains. Obama's fortunes will be decided by how well his plans and policies work, not by what he or Cheney say tomorrow.

HEHNGNN? Silly liar.

The Coming (Obama v. Cheney) Thrilla? [Time/Swampland]

FORGET WEDNESDAY!! [Time/The Page]

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