Donate

Do They Really Talk Like This At Fancy Sex-Hooker Businesses?

Would you like a Cleveland Steamer, my darling?The grand mystery of Eliot Spitzer's comically hypocritical whoring is what exactly was being discussed when classy hooker "Kristen" was told by her madam that Spitzer "would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think were safe ...." Although we remain hopeful that it was something really weird and dangerous, possibly involving a trapeze and a velvet hovercraft, the consensus seems to be "He didn't want to wear a condom." But why are they speaking to each other in such stilted circumlocutions? We could make up a whole list of similarly pointlessly roundabout talk at the super-premium Brothel of Ambiguity. Let's do it!


  • "Let's just say this man might want to do something to you that you probably wouldn't want your mother to watch."

  • "Leave it at this: When he says he wants to go to bed, he might not be sleepy."

  • "There's a chance Mr. Client 9 may wish to do with you what he long ago presumably did with his wife, which resulted in the birth of children."

  • "Mr. Spitzer is a very cunning linguist, Miss Moneypenny."

  • "He's going to make you lure some unsuspecting lout up to the expensive hotel room with promises of free sex, and then you will convince said lout to let him let you tie him up, so he can get his 'surprise,' and then Eliot Spitzer is going to jump out of the closet, in a Batman costume, and rape the guy, in the anus."
$
Donate with CC

No pressure in November, but looks like the Supreme Court is going to do FUCK ALL about gerrymandering this term. In a unanimous decision authored by Chief Justice Roberts, the Court remanded the landmark Gill v. Whitford redistricting case on standing -- in other words, they won't be ruling on it because the plaintiffs challenging the gerrymander hadn't adequately proved that they personally had the right to challenge Wisconsin's preposterous districts.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

We have been hearing ever since late last week that Michael Cohen is probably about to be arrested and probably going to be indicted on one million charges and probably maybe might be about to try to flip and make a deal so that he doesn't end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. In fact, we have been hanging our hopes on it, because everything else sucks. Sure, we are still filled with joy over how Paul Manafort is on day four of JAIL, MOTHERFUCKER, JAIL, but then we remembered what is happening on the border and what we are saying right now is we need something happy.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc

SUPPORT THE CAUSE

Donate