Don Junior Got Some BALLS ON HIM
No one ever said those Trump boys were smart. But Don Jr. doing a victory dance because Hunter Biden admitted to riding on his dad's name is ... well, it's SOMETHING.
HOOO BOY! A guy whose entire life revolves around monetizing his father's name, whose sister and brother-in-law work in the White House, and whose penchant for shooting defenseless animals has earned him a position as his father's gun policy adviser has #Thoughts about Hunter Biden. Okeedokee!
In the middle of an impeachment scandal brought on by inhaling Rudy Giuliani's canned farts, the Trump administration is hunkering down. They've issued strict orders to keep all the windows closed, and if anyone asks about the stink, all government employees must shout in unison that no rose can compare to the delicious fragrance of yesterday's bologna sandwich filtered through Rudy's colon. They're going to keep pretending, despite all evidence to the contrary, that Joe Biden acted to help his son Hunter's business when he got the Ukrainians to fire their notoriously corrupt prosecutor Viktor Shokin in 2016. In short, Team Trump is sticking with the lie, and if they have to smear Hunter Biden, they're only delighted to do it.
For his part, Hunter Biden has readily admitted that he screwed up when he took money from a Ukrainian natural gas company to give its board the patina of legitimacy.
Asked by ABC's Amy Robach if he'd have been paid to sit on Burisma's board "if your last name wasn't Biden," Hunter responded, "I don't know. I don't know. Probably not. But that's — you know — I don't think that there's a lot of things that would have happened in my life if my last name wasn't Biden."
At which point, the entire GOP sprouted a happy GOTCHA boner at once.
None of what the Romney niece who runs the RNC tweeted is illegal, or or even abnormal for DC, although it probably should be. Later Hunter Biden claimed never to have done anything unethical, but faulted himself for bad judgment, saying, "I gave a hook to some very unethical people to act in illegal ways to try to do some harm to my father. That's where I made the mistake. So I take full responsibility for that. Did I do anything improper? No, not in any way. Not in any way whatsoever."
Which is a far cry from whining WITCH HUNT every time you get caught with your dick in the cookie jar, the way Trump does. So, props to Hunter Biden, we guess.
We at this here mommyblog would be the first to say that Hunter Biden is kind of a fuckup. [A HUGEEEEE FUCKUP -- ed.] He's had serious issues with drugs and alcohol, his personal life is an ongoing disaster, and he tried -- largely unsuccessfully -- to make a career off his father's name. But the last guy on earth who should be trying to make political hay off Hunter Biden is the recently divorced son of a serial philanderer with multiple wives and bankruptcies to his name whose businesses have taken in tens of millions of dollars in cash from the federal government and from foreign governments while his father has been in office.
From doubling the membership fee at Mar-a-Lago five minutes after the inauguration to pushing to host next year's G7 summit at the family's Doral resort, the Trump family has sought to cash in on the presidency every way they can. They've charged the government $550,000 and counting for golf cart rentals during the 309 days and counting on which Trump has visited one of his own properties since becoming president. A Saudi lobbyist booked 500 rooms at the Trump hotel in DC in just the first three months of 2017 alone. The House is looking into reports that trade groups and at least one foreign government booked large blocks of rooms at Trump properties, paid for them, and simply failed to show up. This follows on the heels of revelations that the Scottish government had a deal with Trump Turnberry to steer American service members toward the president's hotel, paid for by American taxpayers, despite the fact that their per diem barely covered the room fee and left them no money to pay for breakfast.
DJ himself brought a planeload of prospective Indian condo-buyers to meet with him in New York as his father met with Indian Prime Minister Modi. And here he is following up his father's MAGA rally in Florida with a chance to buy his book.
AND THAT'S BEFORE WE EVEN GET TO THE FACT THAT HIS OWN SISTER AND BROTHER-IN-LAW WERE HIRED TO WORK AT THE WHITE HOUSE AND GRANTED SECURITY CLEARANCES FOR WHICH THEY DID NOT QUALIFY.
Maybe Deej should sit this one out. Maybe Deej should sit all of them out, TBH.
But there's always a Gipper to defend the indefensible. Here's Rand Paul venturing outside his Fox safe space trying to make FETCH happen.
PAUL: If we're going to investigate Giuliani, if we're going to be fair, then we should investigate Hunter Biden's economic dealings in Ukraine as well.
RUHLE: Does that mean we should be looking deeper into how Jared Kushner's family got foreign money for 666 5th Avenue? Or how Ivanka Trump got 13 trademarks from the Chinese government? How she was able to expand her brand since the president took office? Giddyup, let's do it.
PAUL: If we want to go down the road of the politics of self-destruction, of everybody -- criminalize all politicians on both sides of the aisle, go after their family -- yes, we can do that.
UH HUH. So Rudy Giuliani appears to have done something criminal for which he is currently being investigated by the FBI. Which means we are obligated to "investigate" roundly disproven allegations that Joe Biden did something unethical. But investigating the ways that Donald Trump's family is enriching themselves as we speak is "the politics of self-destruction" and shouldn't family be off limits in a decent society? Also, too, everybody does it. So, anyway, LOCK THEM UP, as long as THEM are Democrats.
THESE FUCKING PEOPLE.
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.