Don't Be Expecting To Get Any Abortions From This Bank!
I don't go to the bank often, but when I do, I like to slip in back for a quick D&C. Nothing too fancy, just some check-cashing and abortion-having, like you do. Like we all do, really. Everyone but Christian motivational speaker Nick Vujicic, I suppose, which is why he is partnering with his friend, crisis pregnancy center proprietor Betsy Grey, to open the world's first pro-life bank.
I know what you're thinking. "A pro-life, abortion-free bank? So what do they give you when you open a new account? A toaster oven?" But there's a market for everything these days.
Vujicic was inspired to open this pro-life bank when his regular bank sensed he loved Jesus too much and canceled his account. Now, he, like all the other conservatives who have been claiming this same thing as of late, has no actual evidence this happened, but definitely says it did.
Via extremely legit website LifeSite News:
Vujicic, 38, is a motivational speaker who travels to spread the message of the Gospel. Born without any limbs, he overcame enormous obstacles to create his own ministry organization, Life Without Limbs. Beginning in March 2019, he decided to speak out for unborn babies killed through abortion.
Within 16 weeks, "we had a grenade at our house, a false magazine article published against me, a lawsuit threat, a spying drone, and a bank kicked me out," Vujicic revealed.
"Once I got kicked out of a bank with no warning," he continued. "They froze my credit cards, froze my debit cards. They gave me a letter to say that they did a review of me as a client and they don't want anything to do with me."
Increasingly, banks are denying service to patrons who do not comply with their social agenda. Last year, a British bank threatened to cancel the accounts of patrons who entered the bank without face coverings. In June 2021, an American bank shut down the account of a conservative Christian activist, leaving her stranded without money outside her home state.
Well all of this certainly sounds very plausible — although the supposedly "false magazine article published against him" was literally written by the assistant he allegedly "encouraged to resign" after discovering he was gay.
Apparently the grenade he had at his house was not particularly big news, as I can't find anything about it on the internet outside of quotes from him. This is pretty surprising, given that there are so many anti-choice people out there and none of them have "had a grenade at [their] house." Also because it sounds like the kind of thing that probably would have been a very big deal in right-wing circles. Did the grenade actually go off? Or did they just find it, lying in the yard or something? Grenade throwing doesn't actually seem to be a big thing for anyone in the United States. In fact, I am having a very hard time finding an article about a single grenade incident in the States in which the cops were not the ones throwing them.
But sure, let's say it happened.
According to Vujicic, after he got booted out of his bank for being one of the only anti-choice Christians in all of the United States, he found out this very bank had been donating money to pro-choice organizations. This is actually a true thing! Because these banks, like many other companies, have a thing set up where when an employee makes a donation to an organization, they make an in-kind donation to that organization as well. So if someone working for a bank chooses to donate to Planned Parenthood, the bank will donate that same amount to Planned Parenthood. Same deal with the NRA or other right-wing non-profits, we would assume, because that is how those things work.
The website for the not-yet-viable bank does not yet offer much in the way of information about anything other than its founders, but promises it will be getting its act together real soon, so you can give it all your money. Surely this is a great idea, given the historyofpeoplegivingevangelicalpreachersalloftheirmoneyandthatjustworkingoutreallywellforthem.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse