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Donald Rumsfeld Refuses To Answer Whether Or Not He's a Lizard Person

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ARE DONALD RUMSEFELD AND DICK CHENEY LIZARD PEOPLE FROM OUTER SPACE WHO EAT HUMAN FLESH? For years, this is the one question the world has wanted to ask, as it is the only rational explanation for two beings that look human but in no way acted like it when they were in office. Yesterday, the world finally got its chance. Suspected lizard Donald Rumsfeld went onThe Opie & Anthony Show to discuss his new book. Luckily for humanity, our greatest living stand-up comedian, Louis C.K., was also a guest, and he asked Rumsfelf point-blank if he is a lizard. Rumsfeld's response? Some weird story about a guy buying him dinner that had nothing to do with the question. C.K. went on to ask the question a few more times during the interview, and specifically asked if Rumsfeld ate Mexican babies, but he wouldn't even explain why he wouldn't respond to the lizard question. The lizard question is first posed at the 2:37 mark in this video. After the interview, Louis C.K. supports his conclusion that Rumsfeld is obviously a space lizard.


It may be a little late to save any of those lives lost in Iraq, but we've got you cornered now, lizard man. [Splitsider]

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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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Congressman Beto O'Rourke, who hopes to replace Ted Cruz in the US Senate this fall, is one of several Texas and El Paso leaders participating in a march to the just-opened tent city at the US/Mexico border in Tornillo, Texas, where children have already been imprisoned "placed."

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