Donate

To be sure, the gay bears tend not to be too overt at mosques


Speaking to steaming bag of badger innards Stuart Varney on the Fox Business network, walking slug farm Donald Trump explained Tuesday that he would happily revoke U.S. passports for Americans accused of traveling to fight for ISIS, and that he'd consider closing down mosques in America if they are too sympathetic to radicalism. What's a little religious freedom when Our Nation's Security is on the line?

As Varney reviewed steps the British government (which is not burdened with a bothersome First Amendment) has taken against citizens who went abroad to fight for ISIS, Trump said he would "absolutely" revoke passports so that ISIS fighters couldn't return to the U.S.:

Varney: Now, in the UK, in Britain, they’ve obviously got a terror problem. They’ve got a lot of youngsters going over to fight for ISIS, about -- just under 1,000 are going over there, and they’ve got a whole new series of proposals to deal with this, including withdrawal of passports from some of these people who’ve gone --

Trump:  Absolutely good, good.

Varney: And closing some mosques, would you do the same thing in America?

Trump:  I would do that. Absolutely. I think it’s great ... If you go out, you go fight for ISIS, you can't come back.

Varney: But can you do it? --

Trump:  Why can't you do it? You can do it here.

Varney: Can you close a mosque? We do have religious freedom --

Trump:  Well, I don’t know. I mean, I haven’t heard about the closing of the mosque. It depends, if the mosque is, you know, loaded for bear, I don’t know. You’re gonna have to certainly look at it.

There's a little bit of cross-talk in the transcript that makes it look like Trump's saying he'd "absolutely" shut down mosques, but in context, it's clear he's mostly enthusiastic about revoking passports. He really wants to do that, but sure, maybe if mosques are "loaded for bear," we should shut them down. Or at least look at it. It's not like there's a law against shutting down houses of worship, as long as they're really unpopular. We're not sure whether Trump is still saying that he'd beat ISIS by taking all their oil, presumably sneaking it out in our pockets like in The Great Escape, or if he's just mindlessly saying "yeah, good idea," the way he does.

[contextly_sidebar id="GWzBlDw2H5wA8CQq4VQdUiIqjqazWa1t"]

Yr Wonkette has so far been unable to find any examples of mosques organizing bear hunts, which we are informed by reliable sources are more likely to be conducted by gay bars.

As to the question of whether the U.S. is actually revoking passports of suspected ISIS fighters, it looks like we're not, since California Congressschmuck Scott Peters introduced a bill to require it.

We also found an interesting American University article suggesting that doing so would be of questionable constitutionality and, more significantly, of little utility, since most Westerners who go to Syria or Iraq to join ISIS "are either killed in action, remain abroad, or promptly arrested either en route to Syria or as soon as they return home." Imagine that: yet another measure that sounds like it would Get Tuff on Terror but would be of limited value compared to current law enforcement methods, which are already keeping us safe.

Just to be sure, though, we'd better be ready to close some mosques. Just in case the bears come for us, like Reagan warned in 1984:

If there is a bear, that is.

[Mediaite / Breitbart / American University Washington College of Law]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC

Fox News has been LI'L BIT CONFUSED about how to cover Donald Trump's treason meeting with Vladimir Putin. There was a lot of tut-tutting from Fox's daytime journalists (the "real" ones) on Monday, but then it was Double Dipshit Time on Monday night as Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity took over the commentary. Carlson found the real election hackers (brown Mexican people who either move to America and become legal citizens who vote or brown Mexican people who are just born here, as if THAT is allowed!) and declared that Russian meddling is like number 115 on the list of things that threaten America. (The other 114 are the blacks and the Mexicans and the gypsies, because Tucker Carlson is a white supremacist.) Meanwhile, Hannity hosted Donald Trump for some kind of mutual lick-off session where Trump said that Putin had informed him that there was NO COLLUSION. It's good to have a KGB handler who remembers stuff like that!

But even then, there was a hopeful moment! Fox News's Chris Wallace committed an actual act of journalism Monday night when he interviewed Vladimir Putin, going so far as to stick Robert Mueller's indictments in the Russian leader's stupid fucking face and dare him to read them. He even asked Putin why he constantly murders people with poison. GO GET HIM, CHRIS WALLACE!

Usually the next morning's "Fox & Friends" is like Carlson and Hannity's afterbirth, but Tuesday morning was a little bit different! For some reason, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade and Abby Huntsman were not 100% pleased with Dear Leader's behavior in Helsinki! So they put on their Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski masks and did their best impression of a more dumber version of "Morning Joe," and oh my god it was SO WEIRD. Like, they would be outraged for a second, but then they would immediately compliment him and reassure him that he is a Very Good Boy who won that presidential election fair and square.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Image by Mariordo, Wikimedia Commons

In what seems like a perfectly logical move where corporations are people, MGM International Resorts is suing all the victims of the Las Vegas massacre in federal court. But don't worry -- at least the company isn't seeking damages from them for its own corporate pain and suffering! Instead, the lawsuit is a maneuver to head off liability claims related to the mass shooting last October 1, as is only right and just. All they want is what's coming to them, like immunity from damages and some ill will from consumers, which will no doubt blow over eventually.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc