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He'll never be president, but he will be declared God of Narcissism


You'll be glad to know that Donald Trump has finally taken a firm position on the death threats and ugly anti-Semitic images sent to Julia Ioffe, the journalist who wrote a profile of Melania Trump in GQ. Unfortunately, that position is that he is very disgusted with the media for lying all the time, and while he hasn't read the GQ profile, he's heard it's very unfair, very nasty (it isn't). Oh, and the death threats and the anti-Semitic insults hurled at Ioffe by his fans? Eh, he can't be bothered to think about those. Trump explained to Wolf Blitzer why he and Melania are the real victims here, in a CNN interview bite Wednesday.

There wasn't anything particularly nasty in the GQ piece, although it did reveal that Melania has a half-brother whom her family has never acknowledged; even worse, it suggested that her caviar-based skincare products were less than a huge success. That was enough for Melania to condemn the article, and to unleash the Trump supporter Online Flying Monkey Brigade, which bombarded Ioffe with death threats and amusing photoshop jobs of her as an Auschwitz inmate. All in good fun! So here's what Trump had to say about all that:

Blitzer specifically asked Trump to comment on the anti-Semitic attacks and death threats sent to Ioffe: "These people get so angry. What's your message to these people when something like that happens?"

Trump, of course, pretended he hadn't even heard the question. What question? Instead, he explained that the article was very inaccurate and nasty, although he hadn't read it.

I'm married to a woman who is a very fine woman. She doesn't need this, believe me. She is very, very successful, she did tremendously well as a top model, she made a lot of money, and she's a nice person... This is a very high-quality woman who loves people and has a big heart. She doesn't need to have bad things said about her.

It's such classic Trump. Your fans sent a journalist death threats and a cartoon of someone shooting a Jew through the back of the head. What do you have to say to that? Oh, yes, your wife is a hot model, very successful. Journalists should be more responsible. Also, while he was at it, he went back to his gripe that Ted Cruz (or "they") used those old pictures of Melania before the primary. How very unclassy. "They shouldn’t be doing that with wives."

Blitzer, to his credit, made a game attempt to get Trump to address the actual question: "But the anti-Semitic death threats that have followed --"

Trump: Oh, I don't know about that. I don't know anything about that.

Blitzer: But your message to these --

Trump: You mean fans of mine?

Blitzer: Supposed fans of yours, posting these very angry --

Trump: I know nothing about -- you'll have to talk to them.

Blitzer: But your message to these fans is?

Trump: I don’t have a message to the fans. A woman wrote an article that was inaccurate. Now I'm used to it. I get such bad articles. I get such -- The press is so dishonest, Wolf, I can't even tell you. So dishonest. There's nothing more dishonest than the media.

Death threats? Pfft. Why would he want to condemn anti-Semitic death threats? He's a busy man. He didn't send any death threats, Melania never photoshopped a yellow star onto Ioffe, and so that's where it ends. This is an interview about Donald Trump and how he's been victimized, after all. Who gives a shit about some stupid Jew journalist who's getting death threats? Isn't the media terrible and dishonest? Also, Donald Trump doesn't know anything about white supremacists, exactly. Who are they? Maybe you could put together a list and he'll see if they're bad.

But you know who's really sacrificed? Donald Trump has sacrificed for his country, as he explained elsewhere in the interview:

“I’ve given up a tremendous amount to run for president,” Trump told Blitzer. “I gave up two more seasons of Celebrity Apprentice.”

It's almost as if people don't appreciate everything Donald Trump has had to put up with for Making America Great Again.

[TPM / CNN on Twitter / Guardian]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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