History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

This Donald Trump guy has finally found a way to win with women: By insisting he's winning with women, and that Hillary Clinton, who's spent a career being accused of being a man-hating radical feminist lesbian, is actually a "nasty, mean enabler," and the worst abuser of women ever. You see, she's simultaneously only popular with women because she has a clam, AND she should be despised because she smiled on Bill's sexual harassment and then destroyed all the women she helped him rape. We think that's what he's getting at, at least; it's so incoherent that it's difficult to untangle.

At a rally in Oregon on Friday night, Trump accused Hillary Clinton of trying to “destroy the lives” of her husband’s accusers. “She was an unbelievably nasty, mean enabler, and what she did to a lot of those women is disgraceful,” he thundered, offering no evidence. He repeated the same charges the next day in Washington state.

Silly us, we thought she couldn't be raping and pillaging all those women, because she is too busy with MURDER. But if you want something done, ask a busy person!

As Rachel Maddow explained Monday, Trump's taking his cues from a conspiracy theory book co-written by his best bud and unofficial advisor Roger Stone (who's also working on a book explaining how the Clintons murdered JFK Jr.) and by freaky-deaky Texas bedbug Robert Morrow, who also says Bill isn't Chelsea's dad. It makes a little more sense when Rachel explains it, but not much:

So yes, Trump is using only the best, most high-quality sources. Stone, to help publicize Hillary's crimes against women, has hired Kathleen Willey, one of Bill Clinton's accusers from the '90s, as the head of a group originally called "Women Against Hillary." Maybe someone pointed out that a group called "WAH" wouldn't get the kind of attention Stone wanted, because in January the group was rechristened with the much catchier monicker "Rape Accountability Project for Education PAC." Yes, that's RAPE PAC. Get it? Stone has also promised to run an "all-woman Swift Boat operation" against Hillary. Because, you know, Roger Stone and Donald Trump care about women so much, and want to protect the dear little ladies from Hillary and her campaign of rape, plus sometimes murder. So get ready for the whole cast of women who were supposedly victimized by the Bill and Hillary rape team to resurface, singing the praises of Donald Trump.

Even though Donald Trump is now the greatest friend women ever had, and the professional Clinton victims are signing on to his campaign, you will be simply astonished to learn that Trump had some very different things to say about them in the late '90s. The Daily Beast found a transcript of Trump explaining on Fox News in 1998 that Bill Clinton was being unjustly accused by a bunch of very unattractive women. (Net worth and beauty are the only standards by which Trump can rank women, after all; ideally, a gal should be rich and beautiful.) He simply couldn't get over what a bunch of Uglies those broads were:

“The whole thing, it’s just so unattractive,” the orange-hued demagogue told host Neil Cavuto, according to transcripts. “Linda Tripp may be one of the most unattractive human beings I’ve ever seen -- not women, human beings. She’s just an unattractive person. This [Lucianne] Goldberg person, her agent or whatever she is, is just a terrible woman. You look at Paula Jones, I mean the whole cast of characters.”

He added: “It’s like it’s from Hell. It’s a terrible group of people.”

Seconds later, Trump felt the need to reiterate his obsession with their appearance. “The whole group, it’s truly an unattractive cast of characters -- Linda Tripp, Lucianne Goldberg -- I mean, this woman -- I watch her on television, just vomiting. She is so bad. The whole group -- Paula Jones, Lewinsky -- it’s just a really unattractive group.

“And I’m not just talking about physical, but I am also talking about physical.”

He did at least acknowledge that maybe Clinton's accusers could be tolerable if they weren't so butt-ugly: If they looked like supermodels, he added, they "would be more pleasant to watch." Thank goodness they've either gotten better looking, or at least more useful to him, in time to help him smear Hillary as a monster who ruined women's lives.

Weird how she didn't simply kill them like she did the other hundred or so victims she and Bill racked up.

[Guardian / MSNBC / Daily Beast]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

Donate with CC

Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc