future Mrs. TrumpsBarack Obama didBarack Obama's very favorite thing Saturday night, and that is "making fun of Donald Trump." Did Donald Trump get so frowny madface that he immediately started running for president afterward? Nah, not this time. But he did have some Thoughts, and they were pretty much the Thoughts you knew to expect.

What did Barack Obama say this time? And was he killing Osama Bin Laden at the very same time? Let's ask the Washington Post, because it looks like Dok Zoom did not transcribe the president's goodies, and I only started watching in time for the louche and sexy John Boehner to offer B. Barry Bamz a postcoital ciggy (and in time to weep for Poor Larry Wilmore, fuckin' OUCH):

Obama suggested that Trump's foreign policy experience was limited to his involvement with the Miss Universe pageant.

"In fairness, he has spent years meeting with leaders from around the world — Ms. Sweden, Ms. Argentina, Ms. Azerbaijan," the president said to a laughing audience on Saturday night.

That is pretty good, Prezzy O! And Donald Trump was like "that's right, all the world's most beautiful women are constantly trying to force me to cheat on my wife, look at me, I am not even mad and don't even have to call the president's wife a bonerkiller hag." That is pretty much what he said, except it came out like this:

Trump repeatedly said Monday that the president's comments about him were "fine," but he pushed back against the accusation that he doesn't work with world leaders or have foreign policy experience.

"I have tremendous experience dealing very successfully with other countries," Trump said when asked by CNN's Chris Cuomo how his experience compares with that of Clinton. "Hillary Clinton dealt with other countries, too. And one thing I give her credit for, she did a lot of traveling. But look at the results — Syria, Benghazi. Look at her results. All of those results are terrible. I've made a fortune going out of this country. I've made tremendous amounts of money dealing outside of this country."

He guesses the former secretary of state has some experience doing foreign policy -- murder, mostly, it is like she can't even stop herself -- but has she even once built a golf course in Scotland over the locals' objections or used Chinese slave labor (presumably) to make beautiful ties?

When Hillary Clinton can prove that she's taken just a few million dollars in seed money from her father, and only a $40 million inheritance, and managed to get beat by the idiots who invest in the index funds; done hundreds and hundreds of deals and multiple bankruptcies; been able to choose the queen of THE WHOLE UNIVERSE; and been the greatest ping-pong player, the most perfect kazoo champion, the best and tenderest lovemaker, a hell of an equestrian, pretty much as charitable and goodhearted as Jesus but also as manly as Putin, who is definitely not Jesus but he's cool too, then maybe she'll understand what it's like to be a winner like Mister Donald J. Trump, the greatest secretary of state the world has ever known.

(It's terrible. Can you imagine?)


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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