Just in case you worry that the Liberal Media doesn't give sufficient attention to all sides of controversial issues, Wonkette is pleased to bring you the views of some goober-brained fuckheads on the recent unrest in Ferguson, Missouri. First up: In St. Louis, Missouri, a few dozen protesters showed up at arally Sunday in support of Darren Wilson, the Ferguson cop who shot and killed Michael Brown. It was billed as a counter-protest to the rallies in Ferguson, and was presumably held in St. Louis because why would they go to Ferguson, are you crazy?


Wilson supporters at the rally, almost all white, explained that there's One Weird Trick that ensures you'll never be shot dead by the police:

"If you do what the police tell you do [sic] -- if you're not doing anything wrong, and the cops ask you to do something, then you're not going to have nothing to worry about," said Michael Bates, 33.

Really, this is just common sense, which is why police routinely yell "stop resisting!" to the people whose heads they are slamming against the door of patrol cars.

Asked why there weren't many African-Americans at the rally, retired St. Louis County cop John Newshaw had a theory:

"This sounds wrong, but I don't think the black community understands the system. Again, there's a process. They're screaming about, why isn't he [Wilson] arrested, why isn't he in jail? Well, without the investigation being done, you can't go and apply for a warrant."

Newshaw, something of a philosopher, was also not impressed by the actions of the Missouri Highway Patrol in attempting to de-escalate tensions:

Newshaw criticized the Missouri Highway Patrol for "doing exactly what the violent protesters want" and trying to use more communication and less force.

"They're going to keep pushing the envelope," he said of demonstrators who've gotten violent during protests in Ferguson. "There's no reason to stop. ... It's as simple as training your dog. If you don't tell them stop biting, guess what, he's going to continue to bite."

Yr Wonkette would like to take this opportunity to extend its sympathies to any pets ever owned by Mr. Newshaw, and to point out that repeatedly beating a peaceful dog is a pretty good way to make it bite, too. Not that we buy his basic metaphor anyway.

In any case, the real problem is that there's just been entirely too much talk about race, according to Mr. Bates, the always-do-what-the-cops-say guy:

"If everyone just stopped with the racism thing, it'd all just go away and everything would go to court and come out with the way the law is supposed to do it. Rioting and everything in the streets doesn't get anything done," he said.

A contrary view on Ferguson and race was expressed by Donald Trump, who complained on Fox & Friends this morning that the media was completely ignoring the racial angle in Ferguson. Mr. Trump, who has always had a great relationship with the blacks, pointed out:

“This is a racial situation ... It’s not covered that way in the press. It’s not even discussed in the press. They don’t want to discuss it. They stay away from it.”

Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade suggested, "That’s all we’re talking about is the race thing. This is not just a shooting," but Trump was on a roll:

“In fact, Chicago is another situation,” Trump continued. “It’s a very racial situation out there. If you look at what’s going on here and Chicago and other places, the press really seldom talks about it. You looked at it here; as soon as [Captain Ron Johnson] mentioned his black son [in a speech at the Rally for Michael Brown yesterday], the audience went wild in applauded. That’s a very sad situation, very sad for the country.”

Ohhhh, THAT racial angle -- the one where the blacks are a bunch of racists and think it's a good thing that another black is in charge of policing Ferguson (or was, at least until the National Guard got to town -- does anyone know how command and control is supposed to work there now?). Besides, everybody knows what Trump is talking about, which is the basic criminality (Chicago! Chicago! Chicago!) of the blacks:

“People understand it. In my opinion, the press does not really discuss it. They talk about riots, but they don’t say what’s at the core of the riot. Frankly, it’s a very big problem in this country and it’s a problem that is not discussed or certainly not discussed in any great detail and it has to be.”

We're starting to have some unexpected sympathy for the dog training metaphor guy -- could someone please fit Donald Trump with a no-bark collar?

Also, you'll be delighted to know that the "support Officer Wilson" tee shirt pictured above, with the date of the shooting displayed as if it's an iconic tragedy for Wilson, just like 9/11, is available for sale; the image on the back is this inspiring but poorly-thought-out message using some military jargon for "we have your back":

Now, obviously, since these just went on sale yesterday and had to have been ordered before the release of the second autopsy of Michael Brown, the fact that Brown was shot six times is just a terrible coincidence. Still, we have to admit we're thinking of getting one of those shirts, if only to add "two of which will be headshots."

[HuffPo / Mediaite]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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