How many accusers are there now? 11? 19? One million?

The most remarkable thing just happened on television! Donald Trump was addressing a rally in North Carolina, and was just beginning to talk about all the pussy-grabbing allegations women have been coming forth with against him. He said he doesn't know who ANY of these women are, and yet again suggested that one of his accusers, Jessica Leeds, is way too uggo for him to sexually molest. And right then, just as he was getting going, BOOM, attorney Gloria Allred pulled the trigger on her own press conference, where a woman named Summer Zervos, who was on the fifth season of "The Apprentice," was coming forward to say that ayup, Donald Trump sex-groped her against her will.

Wonder if Trump's ever met this lady who was a contestant on his hit TV show, or if she's just one of these crazy ladies he's never even heard of? (Rhetorial, sarcastic question.)

Look, here's what the different TV networks looked like when it happened. MSNBC, of course, cut over first, because #InTheTank:

Here is Zervos's account, an event she says happened at a bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel:



I walked further into the living room, away from the bedroom, and sat down. I waited for about 15 minutes until Mr. Trump emerged. He had his suit on. I stood up and he came up to me and started kissing me open-mouthed, as he was pulling me towards him. I walked away and I sat down in a chair. He was on a loveseat across from me and I made an attempt at conversation. He then asked me to sit next to him. I complied. He then grabbed my shoulder and began kissing me again aggressively, and placed his hand on my breast. I pulled back and walked to another part of the room. He then walked up, grabbed my hand, and walked me into the bedroom. I walked out. He then turned me around and said, "Let's lay down and watch some telly-telly."

("Telly-telly"? WTF?)

He put me in an embrace and I tried to push him away. I pushed his chest to put space between us and I said, "Come on, man, get real." He repeated my words back to me, "Get reeeeeeeeeal," as he began thrusting his genitals. He tried to kiss me again, with my hand still on his chest, and I said, "Dude, you're trippin' right now," attempting to make it clear I was not interested. He said, "What do you want?" And I said, "I came to have dinner." He said, "OK, we'll have dinner." He paced around the room. He acted like he was a bit angry. He pointed out that someone had delivered a fruit basket. I felt that it was to show me how important he was.

AND SO ON. Now, Trump will likely respond that there were no witnesses, which means he didn't sexually assault anybody, because we all know actual sexual abusers usually like to have a notary and a photographer present. Trump did not have that.

But it sure sounds like him! Skeeving all over a woman, using his power to try to pressure a woman into bed, saying weird things like "telly-telly" and humping everything, and then getting pissed off when she rebuffs his advances? TRADEMARK Trump, like his ugly hotels and his shitty steaks.

So! That is a thing that happened just now, and whoa, Gloria Allred, that was a bomb-ass PR move you just pulled, like whoa.

[MSNBC Twitter]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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