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His feelings are being hurted!


In news we completely expected, but yet are so very, for real shocked to learn, it sounds like Donald Trump has seen those stories about "Hamilton Electors" encouraging Republican members of the Electoral College to get a grip, do its historical duty, and deny Trump the presidency, and has figured he should send a message to the electors too: VOTE FOR ME OR PERISH BY MY TINY ORANGE HAND. An elector spoke to Salon, anonymously of course, and confirmed what no one could have predicted:

“We have gotten reports from multiple people,” the elector said, “that the Donald Trump campaign is putting pressure on Republican electors to vote for him based on . . . future political outcomes based on whether they vote for Donald Trump or not.”

The elector emphasized that these reports had come straight from the Republican electors themselves, with the threats steering clear of violence but instead focusing on “career pressure.”

“It’s all political, basically,” the elector said. “If Trump becomes the president, he’s going to be able to put pressure on the state parties and they won’t be involved anymore.”

That's right, if those electors actually take seriously what Alexander Hamilton said in Federalist No. 68, that the Electoral College is meant to stand as a bulwark against an unqualified person who merely possesses "[t]alents for low intrigue, and the little arts of popularity" (Hamilton might as well have spelled Trump's name in Pig-Latin), and understand their responsibility to keep the nation from falling into the hands of a tyrant influenced by a foreign nation (Russia!), and thus vote against Trump, then Trump will RUIN THEM.

It's nice that Trump's cabal hasn't threatened violence (yet). Wouldn't want the electors to have to hire private security like Megyn Kelly did.

This is, of course, happening as more electors are signing onto an open letter to Director Of National Intelligence James Clapper, begging and pleading that they might be given a full intelligence briefing on just how beholden Donald Trump's campaign is to Vladimir Putin's Sex Body, and also too, just how much Russia's meddling has weakened the integrity of the 2016 election.

We're also learning right now that, with five days to go until the electors meet, according to Harvard constitutional law professor Lawrence Lessig, there might be as many as twenty Republican electors ready to put down the Trump sauce and decide to love America instead. (The RNC says, "NUH UH, there's only this one guy gonna do that," but the RNC would say that.)

So here is the situation, as we see it. If 37 Republican electors can come together and pinky swear and become blood brothers and PROMISE each other that nobody is voting for Donald Trump, then they need to follow through. Hell, if they could all agree with the Democrats on a sane Republican option, like Duke Mittens Of Romney or John Kasich or something, in order to actually get to 270 votes, even better! Now, granted, we absolutely believe Trump would continue to threaten private citizens if this happened, but if he were actually denied the presidency, his threats would be thin-skinned and toothless, wouldn't they? What's he going to do, ban the electors from staying at his tacky-ass, brass-plated resorts?

DON'T BE PUSSIES, YOU GUYS, YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU RIGHT NOW.

Please? We'll give you a pair of panties with teeth if you do, to remind you of your patriotic service. No, for real, we will. You will look sexxxy in them:

REPUBLICAN ELECTORS WANT THESE BAD

The choice is yours, Republican electors.

[Salon / Politico]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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