Donald Trump Is The Greatest Constitutional Scholar, He Is Really Terrific

Trouble with Trumps

Hey, you know how Donald Trump is really, really, super and terrifically dumb? Well, funny story: BOY HOWDY IS DONALD TRUMP STUPID. You know how he always has moron "experts" who tell him things like Obama is definitely a Martian, from Mars? Well, now he has "experts" who are teaching him why the Constitution is wrong when it says little brown babies born here are "citizens," as if.

Politico watched his Clash of the Titan Brains with Bill O'Reilly so we didn't have to:

Under the 14th Amendment, O’Reilly told Trump on “The O’Reilly Factor,” mass deportations of so-called birthright citizens cannot happen.

Trump disagreed, and said that “many lawyers are saying that’s not the way it is in terms of this.”

“What happens is, they’re in Mexico, they’re going to have a baby, they move over here for a couple of days, they have the baby,” Trump said, telling O’Reilly that the lawyers said, “It’s not going to hold up in court, it’s going to have to be tested."

Oh hey, Mr. Trump? Unfortunately for your lawyers who I'm sure are very good at lawing, it's already been tested, in a little case called United States v. Wong Kim Ark. That was waaaaaaaay back ... in 1898 even! And it's when the Supreme Court said -- again, lots more than a century ago -- that people born here were citizens even if they were Chinese. Weird, right? I mean, China! They are so bad all the time, what with having so many people and being really good at stuff and eating our lunch probably I am guessing is a phrase you have used when talking about China like one hundred million times.

It is only like 117 years ago though, so probably Liberty University Law Kollidj hasn't had a chance to update its Real Gud Law Kollidj Lawyerin Buks.

Did you say more words with your mouth vagina, Mr. Trump?

Trump also said that he would not pursue an amendment to the Constitution to remedy the situation.

“It’s a long process, and I think it would take too long. I’d much rather find out whether or not anchor babies are citizens because a lot of people don’t think they are,” he said. “We’re going to test it out. That’s going to happen, Bill.”

It is going to be a very yooge, classy test of whether or not the 14th Amendment exists -- the amendment we had to put in the Constitution because DEMONCRAPS in the South (150 years ago) were all like "nah black peoples, you are not a citizen because reason" and then the saintly Republicans were like "hello, black people, nice to citizen you! And also haha racist Democrats sucks to be you, one day John Lewis will be a congressman and Barack Obama will be the first president from Venus, definitely remember it is Republicans who did this because one day when our parties have flipped a bitch and turned into each other, we, the Republicans, will definitely want credit for being all One Love rasta hippie racial transcendentalists and definitely will not try to REPEAL THE FOURTEENTH FUCKING AMENDMENT JESUS CHRIST."

The end.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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