Donald Trump Makes Five Million Dollar Bet With Irony, Loses
In an exclusive interview with NewsMax, because they are the only people who will talk to him without spitting in his hair-blanket, Donald Trump reveals that the GOP should not be as "mean spirited" going forward.
“Republicans didn’t have anything going for them with respect to Latinos and with respect to Asians,” the billionaire developer says.
“The Democrats didn’t have a policy for dealing with illegal immigrants, but what they did have going for them is they weren’t mean-spirited about it,” Trump says. “They didn’t know what the policy was, but what they were is they were kind.”
Granted, Donald Trump may have maniacally advanced a half-dozen insanely racist theories about Barack Obama's birth, education, travel, family and love of watermelon, but he did it all with a smile on his face, which obviously endeared every minority in America to him, as evidenced by how much the blacks love him.
Let Donald work his magic with the browns and the yellows, too. We are sure he can come up with many inventive ways of appealing to them, such as screaming at the workers behind the counter at a Panda Express for not also doing his laundry, or making an extended series of blowjob jokes using a churro from Costco. If nothing else, watching Donald try to take down two feet of cinnamon-sugar dough will be the best thing that happened to Latinos since my friend Juan found a meter with eight minutes left on it this morning.
Juan, always the lucky uno.
Be more like The Donald, GOP. Hold out the open hand of self-serving YouTube videos to a population that is in desperate need of having its entire existence challenged. And do it...kindly.