ben carson conversion therapy David Hillman Donald Trump Erie County federal reserve hillary clinton Janet Yellin joe biden nikki haley Obama overtime pay pat mccrory pt news breif rick perry russia shinzo abe vladimir putin
Donald Trump's Cabinet of Sadness. Wonkagenda for Wednesday, November 23, 2016
"Word to your mother!"
Morning there, Wonketariat! It's our last partial day of work before we gather together and give thanks. For what? Probably nothing, really, everything's awful!
- South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley has been tapped for U.N. ambassador, ya'll! She's another outsider without any international experience, but bless her heart, she's fixin' to get citified real quick.
- Donald Trump is salivating at the thought of being able to reshape the Federal Reserve. As there are several open seats on the Fed's Board of Governors, the regulatory abilities have been increased since the passage of Dodd-Frank, and current Fed Chair Janet Yellin's post is up in 2018, you can be sure that the U.S. fiscal policy will be left in good hands for years to come.
- North Carolina Republican Governor Pat McCrory is pissed off! Governor McCrory is requesting a recount after losing re-election by just over 6,000 votes. Maybe McCrory could go get advice from trans people on how to deal with people pissing on all his dreams?
- Last week former presidential candidate Ben Carson said he was unqualified to head up federal agency because he doesn't know what the hell he's doing. Now we'll give him Housing and Urban Development, because screw it.
- Former Congresscritter and teevee talking head Harold Ford Jr. is being considered for Transportation Secretary. So much for draining the swamp, those flip-flops are really starting to pile up, aren't they?
- Democrats want to pass legislation that would make Donald Trump's inevitable conflicts illegal as he plays president and and lines his pockets with foreign grift.
- Silly journalists are SO SCARED about Trump's Nixonian tendencies so they've been writing op-eds and tweeting about all the not-good, double-plus bad things Donald Trump wants to do. Just like Tricky Dick said, "if the president does it it's not illegal."
- Hillary Clnton's lead in the popular vote is now up over two million. At the same time, Trump received barely a quarter of the minority vote, a 40 year low.
- A federal judge has blocked an Obama administration mandate that would have given overtime pay to over 4 million workers probably because the judge has never held a shitty job that forces you to work long hours for no pay. Seriously, fuck this asshole.
- A new law in Erie County, New York, would ban conversion therapy in the event that someone like Mike Pence uncovers our secret gay-genda to turn all the children in America into gay-mosexuals with high school Hamilton reenactments.
- Arkansas state Rep. David Hillman decided that he was kind of a shitty Democrat, so he switched his party affiliation to Republican, giving them a supermajority in Arkansas's lower house. It's OK though, state Rep. Hillman isn't alone in his party switcharoo, and besides, Hillman prayed to Jeebus to make sure it was peachy.
- Russia has been quietly stockpiling missiles in the Baltic Sea area, potentially destabilizing the region, and ahead of a meeting between Russian President Vladimir Putin and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, Russia has also been deploying anti-ship missiles on Japanese islands. It's a good thing we have Donald Trump, seeing as how he wants to destroy all the alliances and sanctions that have held back Russia military expansion for the past two decades.
- Hey Kids! Are your professors gross liberals who need to be publicly identified so that you can ridicule and judge them based on a their political ideologies? Good news! A new website will allow you to rate professors based on their political leanings, so that way no one ever has to be exposed to godless, hippy, socialist subversion ever again.
- There was a gathering of Old Handsome Joe Biden fans at the National Observatory, so Old Handsome Joe himself decided to stroll on up and say nice words to them. Swoon!
- Here's some bizzaro-time with Vanilla Ice and Rick Perry on one of those dancing teevee shows (again)! There really are no words can describe the money shot at the end.
- And here's your morning Nice Time, Bush dog pups (which I didn't know were a thing) and they're freaking ADORABLE!