Don't Come Around Here No More. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 3, 2017

Hey, Wonketariat! Do yourself a favor and have some bonus nice time puppies and baby goats before reading all the newses we might be talking about today.

Tom Petty died last night -- but for real this time. Wonkette is sad.

Trump's White House doesn't think it's a "good time" to talk about gun control right now, so they're trying to pivot to problems inChicago, and Puerto Rico -- literally anything else that isn't about the shooting in Las Vegas.

Here's a quick list of bullshit hoaxes and fake news nonsense about the Las Vegas shooting. (And DEFINITELY don't get your news from Facebook or Google, Jesus Christ.)

In the wake of the shooting in Las Vegas, the NRA has decided to delay a massive ad buy in Virginia's state elections, and gone effectively dark so as not to offend gun fetishists potential voters.

Here's a handy infographic to help you find out out which Congress critters have been accepting NRA blood money. You're welcome.

Bill O'Reilly thinks that the Las Vegas shooting is "the price of freedom." Just so we're clear, the price of freedom is 59 dead, and over 500 wounded. God bless America.

Prince Jared and Ivanka had not one, not two, but THREE private email address they were using to conduct government business. NO WONDER they forgot to tell anyone about their emails, there's just so many!

Guess what? Trump had some MOAR business with Russia, and so did his smarmy lawyer, Michael Cohen. Surprised?

The Senate Judiciary Committee has been denied some Trump-Russia stuff by the CIA even though the Senate Intel Committee has already seen the same damn things.

Facebook is admitting that as many as 10 million people saw Russian ads in their newsfeeds because it was just so fucking cheap to bombard Middle America with pro-Trump Russian propaganda.

Scott Pruitt has been giving big, sloppy and expensive blowjobs to corporate America and conservative lobbying groups that were left to die under the Obama administration.

While we were busy wondering what to do about guns (again), the Children's Health Insurance Program was allowed to lapse by a Republican congress who loves to bitch about the children.

The Supreme Court is set to to hear a bevy of new cases including gerrymandering, and the warrantless searching of cellphones, gay-hatin' bakers, American tech companies hiding shit in Not America, and much much more!

Some ladies are pissed at the Trump administration for killing an Obama-era equal pay rule, so they're preparing to sue the shit out of him, just like his ex-wives.

Cost projections for the round-the-clock protection of Betsy DeVos are expected to top out at $6.54 million now that a contract with the US Marshall Service for protective services has been renewed -- but at least she's footing the bill to fly them around on her private jet.

The CIA might be pissed at Chelsea Manning, but she gives absolutely zero fucks about the feefees of a butthurt police state.

Mike Pompeo's dumbass replacement, Rep. Ron Estes, let a shadowy Ukrainian lobbying group hold a bogus hearing on corruption in the basement of the Capitol.

Trump LURVS being thought of as the "crazy guy," it's just good for ratings, or whatever.

The quickest way to be "You're Fired" in Trump's White House is to block whatever teevee is blasting Fox News as it has become the de facto source for Trump's Twitter tantrums.

Ryan Zinke is being investigated by the Interior Department for being a grifty bastard and screwing taxpayers just so he can skip around fly-over country on private jets owned by oil-and-gas lobbyists.

It's not just mean words and sanctions, the US has been engaged in "cyber war" with North Korea for a while now, so the Russians set up a backup Internet for Dear Leader to rub one out.

In another unsurprising maneuver, the Senate confirmed Ajit Pai to another five year term as chair of the FCC with Republicans praising his tireless efforts to con broke people in the middle of nowhere with bullshit 5G Internet access, and his gutting of net neutrality.

OK, Google, we're only going to tell you this once - 4Chan is not a credible news source. Get your shit together because you can't keep fucking up breaking news stories.

If you've got a couple million dollars laying you could buy Gawker, but most people seem to think it's too much of a toxic waste dump. [h/t WSJ]

Pat Robertson talked to Jeebus, and Jeebus told Pat Robertson that "violence in the streets" wouldn't be happening if we stopped disrespecting authority.

Milo Yian-whatever ALLEGEDLY married a guy, and we don't give a fuck. Consider yourself informed.

SCOTUS has told Kim Dotcom to fuck off back to New Zealand and stop complaining about the seizure of assets he acquired by charging people to store stolen data, porn and movies on his now dead website.

And here's your late night wrap-up! NOTE: It is sad, serious, and not at all funny, but you should watch it anyway; Stephen Colbert thinks we have to do SOMETHING; Jimmy Kimmel called out all the Senators who go out of their way to object to gun control; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump talking about Puerto Rico; Conan O'Brien is fucking sick of this shitThe Daily Show wondered when the hell it's time to talk about guns.

And here's your morning Nice Time!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


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