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Don't Think These Two Random Guys Won't Suggest Putting The Berlin Wall Back Up

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  • Two completely random European journalists are requesting credit for the fall of the Berlin Wall. See, they were the ones who asked tuff questions about it! No one had even THOUGHT about knocking it down—that is, before the quality of their journalism alluded to it. [WSJ]
  • Actual winner of Afghanistan's election, Abdullah Abduallah, might team up with Hamid Karzai in some sort of coalition of convenience, thus rendering a run-off election unnecessary. [New York Times]
  • The latest iteration of the Democrats' fantasy health care bill is $871 billion. Everyone will automatically love it because of how under Obama's limit of $900 billion it is. [Washington Post]
  • Apple has signaled it's time for you to get a new computer by designing a much, much cooler-looking laptop than than the one you currently have. [CNN]
  • Good—eh, well, relatively goodish—news for widow(er)s: Congress passed this new bill that eliminated the two-year marriage minimum of green card eligibility. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Obama demanded that Big Finance JUST DEAL WITH his proposed banking regulations. He said this at a $15,000-a-plate DNC fundraiser at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Manhattan. [The Hill]
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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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Every so often on this here internet, we get a hate read that is so perfect, that so aptly encapsulates a particular form of douchebaggery that we all must collectively gasp at it's awfulness and revel in the general repulsiveness of the arrogant human being so lacking in self-awareness that they actually thought it would be a good idea to write such a thing. Today, I bring you such a hate read -- Matthew Binder's A Glimpse Into the Ideological Monoculture of Literary New York.

And yes, it's actually worse than it sounds, if that is possible.

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