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Drunk Georgia Ex-Mayor Arrested For Being Naked And Drunk And Yelling At Rangers

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We're getting pretty local here, but it is important that everyone memorizethe story of how Mark Musselwhite, former mayor of "Gainesville, Georgia," was arrested last Saturday. Basically he was constantly naked and running around naked everywhere but didn't know he was naked, because of all the alcohol. Police report, OH YES...


Georgia DNR Ranger Brandon Walls said authorities had been getting calls about some naked guy walking along a road outside a campsite, as well as inside. Ranger Wells went to check it out and, later, reported on his hilarious jaunt in a long block of text in all caps. You must read the whole thing, for laffs, but here's an excerpt:

WE ARRIVED AT THIS LOCATION AROUND 2249 HRS. I OBSERVED A MALE SUBJECT SITTING NUDE IN A CHAIR IN FRONT OF HIS CAMPER/HORSE TRAILER. WE MADE CONTACT WITH THE SUBJECT WHO EARLIER IN THE DAY I HAD IDENTIFIED AS MARK MUSSELWHITE. I HAD SPOKEN WITH HIM EARLIER THAT DATE IN REFERENCE TO AN ATV HE HAD BEEN RIDING IN THE AREA. HE LOOKED AT US AND SAID HELLO. I ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS DOING, HE SAID HE WAS JUST SITTING HERE AND ASKED IF THERE WAS A PROBLEM. I DID NOTICE HE WAS DRINKING AND APPEARED VERY INTOXICATED. I ASKED HIM WHY HE DID NOT HAVE ANY CLOTHES ON, AND HE SAID HE WAS HOT AND HAD BEEN IN THE CREEK. AT THAT POINT HE WANTED TO KNOW WHY WE WERE THERE AND WHAT HE WAS DOING WRONG. I ADVISED HIM THAT WE HAD GOTTEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT A MAN WALKING AROUND NUDE IN THE AREA. STILL NUDE, HE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS NOT HIM. I SAID THE COMPLAINTANT HAD SPECIFICALLY SAID HIS CAMPSITE, AND THE FACT THAT HE WAS STILL NUDE MADE ME THINK IT WAS HIM.

Later, belligerence & arrest after Musselwhite unsuccessfully plays the "Do you know who I am?" card: "HE TOLD ME THAT HE... WAS A VERY POLITICAL PERSON."

Former Gainesville mayor arrest for public indecency [Access North GA]

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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