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Dudes At Free Beacon Having Some Quality 'Them Time' With Pics Of This Pretty Blonde Right Winger

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The nice folks at the Washington Free Beacon want you to know that this whole completely fictitious "War on Women" thing, which never existed to begin with, is now OVER. Not only is the official response to the State of the Union address going to be given by a Gyno-American, but the RNC's Winter Meeting featured a "Rising Stars" event to showcase "a potpourri of strong conservative women who are making it rain change in America." We were not aware of the cloud-seeding properties of conservative women, although we have no doubt that some of them smell nice enough.


Anyway, one of these young conservative women, whose star "rose just a little bit higher than the rest," is Alison Howard, the Communications Director for Beverly LaHaye's funtimes circus, Concerned Women For America. And Alison, you see, is just so fantastic and incredibly gorgeous -- not to mention conservative -- that there will never ever be any accusations of a "War on Women" ever again. Plus, since she's a conservative evangelical, you can bet her closet doesn't contain any slut pills or bortions or libido.

Just to prove how "hip" and "happening" and "with-it" they are, the Free Beacon puts together its profile with a few words and a lot of pictures, plus a couple of animated gifs -- it is exactly like the Buzzfeed! Strangely, the three gifs all show Alison talking on teevee, but since they're not video, she remains pretty and silent, just the way a good conservative gal should be.

In fact, you might find it a little surprising that they describe her as an expert at "articulating the importance of conservative values in American society," but don't include a single word written or spoken by her. But look! "She’s a modern day Betsy Ross."

We do not know why she is a modern-day Betsy Ross. Maybe because sewing is a terrific way to support the Cause?

The main thing we learn about her is that she tirelessly defends traditional values and looks GREAT while doing it. And she #StandsWithPhil, so "with ladies like Alison on his side, A&E had no choice but to return the “Duck Dynasty” patriarch to the air." (Obligatory nerf gun AND real-gun shooting-range photos). Silly us. We thought it was a cynical decision based on the show's ratings.

And there you have it, a profile of a communications director who doesn't get a single word of her own quoted in the profile. But she is blonde and trim and pretty.

We wonder if she can physically sense the thousands of Daily Caller bros bating through their screens?

[Washington Free Beacon]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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