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'Due To Security Concerns A Tea Bag Has Been Removed From This Mailing'

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A Hill staffer informs us that the Congressional Mail Room Security People are starting to go Code Mango on all tea bag anthrax letters, which is a tragedy, because now staffers can't send uscomical photos of the tea bags (unless they're faxes!) And no more free treats for these poor worker bees! There's always Nestle chocolate milk to steal, though.


Operative Welfare Queen writes about the new lack of free handouts:

I just thought I'd let you know that the greedy House mail room is now stealing our free tea for themselves. Teabagger envelopes now arrive empty, with a sticker on the front that says: "Due to security concerns a tea bag has been removed from this mailing. It was the only item contained in the envelope. There was no correspondence in the letter."

The free tea spree has come to an end.

But how are staffers supposed to carefully consider their constituents' opinions from now on?

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BREAKING ACHTUNG EVERYBODY CRY AND PANIC AND HAVE ROLLICKING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, BECAUSE ROBERT MUELLER DID THE THING.

We don't know what the thing means yet, but we know that he gave the thing to Attorney General Bill Barr, who is presumably looking at the thing right now. Donald Trump is at Mar-a-Lago, so he does not have the thing, because NO THING FOR ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENTS. Studies show that according to sources close to the investigation who may or may not be close to the investigation, we might have some real information on what is inside the thing sometime this weekend.

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Whatcha doin' down there at Mar-a-Lago, Mister Normal President Of America?

OK ... huh?

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