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Dumb Congress Ruins Perfectly Good Week Of Outrage

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Goddammit. We began this week fueled by the fires of righteous indignation that those AIG twats were getting money, any money at all, from the government or anybody else, regardless of when it was awarded or for what purpose, because seriously what a crowd of worthless cocks. But now just several days later, our House of Representatives has gone ahead and "channeled the people's rage" with the dumbest legislation since Terry Schiavo, which has cleverly backed all your liberal bloggers into reassessing this whole KILL THE WEALTHY MEATSTICKS approach.


To recap: Everybody, including your editor, was furious with AIG for thinking its employees could get these "retention-based bonuses" when the very fact that they ruined their company suggested they were not worth retaining. A couple of your favorite Obamatard bloggers, such as Sullivan and Silver, just sort of shrugged and said, "I don't see why there's all this outrage," which just made people madder.

So then the House decides to capitalize on this outpouring of public anger by passing some really insanely punitive legislation that people aren't really sure is constitutional, and instead of being like Yeah right on you stick it to 'em we have to ask ourselves if this really makes any sense in the slightest.

As our boyfriend Nate Silver points out, essentially eliminating performance-based bonuses for high-income earners at ALL bailed-out companies could seriously disincentivize people who we actually want to hang around. Like, you know, the senior engineers at GM who are working on jet pack research and solar-powered dildos.

So here is a thought: instead of passing legislation designed exclusively to fuck AIG in the ass, come up with a plan that sets broad but reasonable guidelines for setting salaries and bonuses at bailed-out companies, something that rewards good actors and doesn't encourage companies to bury all their compensation in bonuses for tax purposes. We will need to have some rules going forward, because lord knows every fucking bank and car company that got bailout money will need more in the near future, so it's still worth thinking about.

Throw Out Baby, Bail Out Bathwater [FiveThirtyEight]

Frankenstein [TPM]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

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SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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