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Photo: Gage Skidmore, Creative Commons License 2.0

Ever since Scott Walker lost his gig as governor of Wisconsin, he's been trying to remake himself as a great Twitter Pundit. It's really sort of embarrassing, like that time he fantasized about lying to hypothetical schoolchildren about taxes, but Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez schooled him good. Walker was back with another sub-Huckabee-quality take Thursday, this time on Elizabeth Warren's "wealth tax" proposal. And just like his attempt to explain marginal tax rates to fifth-graders, it involved imaginary children and a load of horse shit.


Walker may be in need of entertainment. Just look at the unnecessary emojis here:

Well gosh, Scott, shall we explain how taxing assets over $50 million is unlike your weird analogy? Here are a few differences!

  • Nobody ever inherited a bunch of A grades from their family and then went on to add to them.
  • Nobody ever got government subsidies or capital gains tax cuts to get an A.
  • Nobody ever promised C students that if they give the A students most of the school supplies, then everybody would see their grades improve.
  • While it's true that lots of students have lobbied to get higher grades, that usually doesn't sway teachers. And there are sure as hell no paid lobbyists convincing school boards that certain students must get an A.
  • Nobody ever stashed their good grades in an offshore grade haven.
  • And there's definitely no entrenched political party out there telling America that if A students aren't given As, then they might just pack up and move to a school in China.

Oh yes, and the idea that wealth is a reflection of individual achievement is bollocks, too, you dipshit. And a guy who slashed funding for education in his state should probably just stay away from school-based analogies anyway.

Oh, the liberals were mean, too:


It's probably time to institute an analogy tax on good writers to force them to help Scott Walker write better tweets.

[Scott Walker on Twitter / Image: Crop of photo by Gage Skidmore, Creative Commons License 2.0]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

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