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They must have used the wrong bathroom


Some concerned citizens in McDermott, Ohio, discovered that a little girl at the Northwest Elementary School actually has a ding dong instead of a hoo-ha. OH GOD, THE HORROR! She was born with boy parts, see, and she identifies as a girl. Yes, she is a transgender child, and no, it's nobody's business. Except these hayseeds found out the little girl is tinkling in the little girls' bathroom, because of how she is a girl, and now they are FREAKED THE FUCK OUT that she will wave her ding dong in the other little girls' faces or something.

These fine folks (that's sarcasm; clearly, these people suck) got all shouty-faced at a board of education meeting, where the board explained to the dumb grown-ups how federal law says they can't tell the little girl she cannot use the little girls' bathroom, that's illegal, dummies. Naturally, this has turned into another episode of Boo Hoo Someone's Stealing My Jesus Freedoms And Pissing On Them With A Girl Penis:

One of the main concerns that was heard at the Sept. 8 school board meeting was people's moral rights and what exactly they are entitled to.

"I despise it. We're Christians, we don't believe in this all these different types of males and females, you know what we have now," said meeting attendee Patty Crabtree. "We have slowly watched all of our rights, our Christian rights are being taken from us. We are tired of it."

Because in McDermott, apparently, people believe that they are entitled to say, "No, little girl, you cannot go to the can in this room because that is against my moral rights!" These people are Not Smart. But they are A Dick.

Here is a picture of Patty Crabtree, and she is A Dick for sure, and unless she's a nine-year-old who has done some seriously hard livin' already, we have no idea how her Christian rights are being taken from her because of where some kid is dropping a dookie:

Damn, little girl, you have not aged well

Local news doesn't identify Ms. Crabtree as an employee of the school, or a parent of some student at that school, so best we can figure, she's just a local busy-body dick who is not affected by this situation at all whatsoever, and she's simply looking for reasons to haul her butt and her oxygen tank out of the house for a bit, to be GRRRRRRR ANGER FACE until she can take her Metamucil and fall asleep to "Wheel of Fortune." And hey, some little girl trynna go bathroom? Yeah, that's reason enough, that'll do. GRRRRRRR ANGER FACE! Why is everything so complicated now? Patty Crabtree misses the simpler days, when she went to elementary school about a thousand years ago, and there was only the one kind of male and the one kind of female, and they put their pee-pee in the appropriate kind of hole in the ground, like Jesus said.

Rest assured, Patty Crabtree and your 400 or so fellow citizens of Wherever The Fuck, Ohio, no one is coming for your freedoms. No one cares enough to try to find you on a map. Seriously. Let the little girl take a whiz in that newfangled indoor plumbing room y'all just had installed recently (we assume), and leave her the fuck alone.

Or maybe we DO care. Maybe we WILL ask Siri, "Hey, Siri, how the hell do we travel back in time to the 15th century of McDermott, Ohio?" And then we WILL piss all over your shoes, to teach you a lesson about how your BFF Jesus didn't say fuck-all about where to go potty, but he had a lot to say about DON'T BE A DICK, especially to a little girl, fercrissake, and yeah, Patty, he was talking to you.

[WOWK-TV via Rawstory]

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