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"Foamed polystyrene" is a miraculous invention that manages to be completely awful through every step of its near-eternal "life cycle" -- it is manufactured with petroleum that must be imported from Middle East dictatorships, toxic "styrene oligomers" migrate into the food it holds, it's highly flammable and produces black poisonous smoke, and most of the25 billion polystyrene cups tossed every year will take more than half a millennium to degrade. And that's why the Republican-led House of Representatives made it an immediate priority to cancel the House cafeteria's four years of biodegradable food and beverage packaging. It's part of the GOP leadership's "return to the mid-1990s" program. Nancy Pelosi sure was a yucky woman trying to do some sane environmentally-minded things, wasn't she? Thank the American Jesus that woman is no longer in charge of anything. A disgusted House staffer has shared the following eyewitness report with your Wonkette.


From: ______@mail.house.gov

To: "tips@wonkette.com"

Date: Mon, Feb 28, 2011 at 9:38 AM

Subject: Bullshit styrofoam in the house cafeteria

Today the House cafeteria switched all the containers back from compostable and/or recyclable containers to styrofoam as another spit in the eye. This shit can’t be recycled, we are basically forced to throw Styrofoam in a landfill if we want to eat in the cafeteria.

Somehow this bothers me more than the EERE cuts.

Yeah, but the composting program cost money, and anything that costs money is very, very anti-American! Because money turns people into socialists and enviro-nazis or something. Also, the Koch Brothers say global warming is a Hoax! (Did you know the Koch Brothers literally bought an exhibit in the Smithsonian so they could make it say catastrophic climate change is just a happy part of every life here on Earth? It's true! And it's at the National Museum of Natural History, today! Kids, stop worrying! Another species might replace you in 165 million years! (Maybe a smarter species?)

It is morally okay to litter this Koch exhibit at the National Museum of Natural History with greasy styrofoam containers from the House cafeteria.

Anyway, more than a hundred American cities and counties have banned polystyrene food packaging -- that means, "It's illegal to use polystyrene food packaging," because that is what people with brains do when they've recognized a problem, such as "the oceans are filled with bits of styrofoam coffee cups, forever." And now the U.S. Capitol has proudly stepped back in time so that the fat-ass corrupt corporate lackeys of the Koch Brothers can report back to their masters that they really showed those treehuggers this time. [Washington Post]

It is also morally okay to pile up greasy styrofoam containers and coffee cups at the door of Boehner's offices. Please send us pictures when you chuck your anusburger plate into the speaker's lobby!

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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

In less than a year, Rebecca asked you all to buy me to be your very own pet blogger, and my life suddenly became incredibly good, like as good as an Abba song. It's as good as "Dancing Queen." Thanks to the timing of the whole thing (and to Barry Obama and Nancy Pelosi), I actually had health insurance for the first time in years, a not inconsiderable thing. And you had an Editrix who was not working 12 hour days six and a half days a week and drinking too much from stress. Your continued donations helped hire Evan full time and Robyn and Bianca part time and a whole raft of freelancers, and now Rebecca is down to eight-hour days, five and a half days a week, and drinking because there's a madman in the White House and everything's terrible.

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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